Take My Hand
by remie.lovely
Summary: What if everything in your life changed in one instant? Every bit of happiness ripped away? And at your lowest point, at that moment, the last person you ever thought would or even could, helped you back up again?
1. Broken

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe.

ButI could hear the footsteps coming closer. Closer to finding me. Closer to help? No, closer to someone finding out my horrible secret. My horrible horrible secret. But there was nothing I could do about it.

"My my, if it isn't the little…" Whatever insult or comment he was about to say died the moment he actually looked at me. He was silent as he took in my appearance.

My hair was a crazy mess, but that was the least of my problems. A bruise covered most of the left side of my face, blood ran from my nose and mouth, and my close were torn and stained with my blood. Both my wrists were red and bruising from being held onto way to tightly. And more blood, stained my legs and the floor where I sat.

"The hospital wing, I have to take you to the hospital wing" I had never heard as much emotion in his voice as I did at that moment. He bent down to pick me up and I struggled to find my voice.

"No" It was cracked and broken, just as I was. But it was there. I was still there.

"Okay" He didn't fight me not one bit as he lifted me into his arms, carrying me as a husband caries his new bride. He cradled me close to his body as if it would protect me to keep me there.

For a few moments, I drifted away until he placed me gently on a bathroom floor. I looked around slowly trying to figure out where he had taken me.

"I have my own room." He answered as if he could read my thoughts. And then he turned on the shower, picked me back up nd carried me inside. The water stung and I automatically flinched in pain. He responded immediately by pulling me closer to his body away from the hot water. We stayed there in the shower until the water began to run cold.

He placed me down on the marble shower floor and I stood on my own two feet for the first time since he had found me.. Somehow he managed to undress himself and wrap a towel around his lower half quickly and without me seeing a thing. Then he pulled my shirt over my head gently and threw it in the garbage can. I didn't care. I would rather be naked then ever wear those clothes again. He reached around my body and unsnapped my bra letting it fall to the floor at my feet. He wrapped a towel around me then bent down to pull the remains of my clothing off of my body. If I could have I would have laughed at this situation. Never in a million years would I have ever been in a towel and only a towel in front of Draco Malfoy with him in the same in front of me.

"Can you walk?" His voice was gentle and so different from the cold Draco Malfoy I knew.

I took a step out of the shower and cried out as pain spread through me life wildfire. I stumbled but his warm arms wrapped around me picking me back up and cradling me once again. We walked into his large room and he put me down on the oversized bed before lighting a fire and digging through his dresser. Once again too quickly for my eyes he had changed. Now in deep green pajama pants and a deep grey t-shirt he walked over to the bed with clothes in his hands. He pulled a pair of black sil boxer up my waist. Once satified with where they were, he pulled the towel away and slipped a black t-shirt over my head.

He tilted my chin up so I was forced to look him in the eyes for the first time that night.

"You did not deserve this. This is not your fault. He is scum. The lowest of low and one day he will get what is coming to him. Do you understand me?"

I nodded. And the tears began.

I cried as he tucked me into bed.

I cried as he climbed in beside me a turned out the lights.

I cried as he wrapped his arms around me.

I cried. And cried. And cried until I finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up the next day with a sore throat and pain pretty much everywhere. And I noticed I was alone. For some reason this upset me and scared me. I jumped out of bed and my legs felt like jelly but I remained on my feet. I looked around but didn't see Draco. Instead there was a stack of clothes on a chair with a note on top.

The clothes are for you. I went to get breakfast for you. Get dressed and I'll be back soon.

Draco

I sighed in relief and put the note aside and began to dress slowly. Every move hurt and burned . And before I finally managed to button the dark jeans and pull the emerald green turtle neck over my head I was crying. I walked into the bathroom slowly and stood in front of the mirror for the first time since it happened. For some reason the broken and bruised girl staring back at me with tears in her eyes made me snap. I picked up a heavy candle holder and threw it into the huge mirror making it shatter. Shards of glass flew everywher. Slicing open my face and hands.

Two pairs of arms pulled me out of bathroom and back into Draco's room moments later.

"Logan go fix the mirror. Azlyn watch for Draco. Pansy and me are gonna fix her." They scattered into action at the boy I recognized as Blaise Zambin's instructions. He looked like one of those models. With his dark eyes and dark hair, he could probably sell anything with those looks. Pansy was a striking beauty with long blonde hair and pretty blue eyes.

They went straight to work casting spells on me and less than two minutes later I was led into the bathroom to look into the newly fixed mirror.

"Well what do you think?" Pansy asked.

The bruises and cuts were hidden and my hair was pulled into a long braid. I looked like me again. Before I could answer her question I heard the door open and shut.

"Draco's here." Came a feminine voice I regonized. Azlyn Kartikofia was a year behind me but we did have some classes together. She was a true beauty. Her mom was native american and it showed in her deep colored skin and long black hair.

I heard footsteps then saw Draco walk in with a plate of food.

"Wow, you look.."

"Normal" I finished quietly. If it wasn't for the physical pain and the memory of the night before, I could have pretended it never happened.

"She speaks" Blaise pretended to be surprised. Everyone in the room glared at him.

"Quiditch" Apparently full sentences, I could not manage.

"Oh yeah, we play them today. She's on the team." Logan Macnear was in my year. He was what I would call averagly handsome with brown hair and brown eyes.

Draco held the plate towards me and I picked up a piece of toast nibbling at it. "Azlyn, Pansy, walk her down to her locker room and talk to no one on the way there. This never leaves my room do you all understand?"

Everyone nodded before starting to shuffle into Draco's bedroom. He stopped me before I passed him.

"I am here if you need me. The password is silver dragon. Are you okay to play today?" He looked me in the eyes and all I saw was kindness so unlike anythign I had ever seen in Draco Malfoy's eyes before.

I nodded and followed the two girls out of his room doing my best to remember how to get back there. They left me at the Gryffindor Girl's locker room. I dressed quickly before the other girls piled in. I was one of three chaser on my team. All of us were girls. The other two were Sarah Jumblee a fourth year and Regan Temply a sixth year.

Ron was still the keeper and Harry of course the seeker and current captain as there were no seventh years on the team. The two beaters were Carter Temply and Travis Bickman. Carter and Regan were twins so he was obviously a sixth year. Travis was a fifth year.

The other two girls joined me soon after I was dressed and in all my gear.

"Hey Ginny." Sarah said as she began to change.

"Your brother is looking for you" Regan stated as she too began to get in her uniform.

"I figured he would be." So I could make sentences. "I just didn't feel like eating breakfast this morning. So I came here early."

"I'm so nervous. Slytherin looks really good this year." Sarah sat next to me on the bench as we waited for Regan who finished getting ready soon after.

"Let's go kick some ass." Regan led the way out and we met up with the rest of the team.

"There you are Gin. We've been looking for you." Ron looked realieved to see me.

"You worry too much Ronald" I said taking my place amongst the team before we went into the stadium.

I noticed that a good portion of the Slytherin team had their eyes on me. Draco was the seeker and current captain. Blaise and Logan were both beaters and Azlyn and Pansy were chasers along with Trinity Caldwell. And Garrent Windmen was the keeper.

As soon as the game began I knew it would be difficult. It hurt just to sit on my broom so playing quidditch was a hundred times harder than it normally would have been. Soon enough I was racing along Azlyn who had the quaffle and was headed towards Ron.

"You don't look so good" She noted as we whizzed past the cheering crowds.

"I don't feel so grand." I admitted as I shoved into her with tears forming in my eyes from pain and stole the quaffle changing direction and head back the other direction.

"So was it your boyfriend?" Pansy asked coming up on my other side.

"I don't have a boyfriend." I tossed the ball into the goal and scored ten points. The other chaser from Slytherin got the ball and was off towards Ron with Sarah and Regan following close behind.

"So do you know the guy who did this?" Azlyn wandered as we raced to catch up.

"I don't want to talk about this." A bludger flew at us and we all ducked out of its way and resumed our chase. "Besides why do you care?"

"Because in our families we have seen our fair share of rape and beating. Me and Lyn are lucky but we've seen it a million times. So we may not know how you're feeling or what you're going through but we aren't going to let you go through it alone." Pansy stated as Slytherin scored their first goal.

"Why are you beign so nice to me? You don't even know me." I caught the ball as Regan tossed it to me and took off with it.

"Fine what's your favorite color?" Azlyn questioned as we headed towards the seekers who were chasing the snitch in our direction.

"Green" As I answered, I saw it. The snitch was comign at me, but before I could do anything about it, it zoomed past my head and I collided with Draco. The quaffle dropped from my hands and we both fell off our brooms.

Draco wrapped his arms around me protectivaly before we hit the ground. It wasn't long before we heard cheering. Harry had caught the snitch and we had won.

Before anyone could join us on the ground or even notice us there, Draco picked me up and carried me off the field. We were headed towards the castle and almost there before our teams caught up with us.

"Malfoy put my sister down this instant!" Ron yelled as he managed to get in front of us.

Draco placed me on my feet gently but kept and arm over my shoulder. Azlyn came around and stood on my other side. Pansy stood beside her and Blaise and Logan stood behind them .

Regan, Carter, Sarah and Hermione who had joined Ron on the field after we won looked shocked. Harry, Ron, and Travis looked pissed.

"Changing sides Weasley?" Travis questioned and I tensed up out of habit at his voice.

"We aren't on the other side Bickman. Don't associate us with our parents. We are ntohign like them." Azlyn had a temper. Everyone at hogwarts knew that.

"I wasn't talking to you little whore!" Travis snarled. Before anyone could stop him, Logan puched him square in the face and blood ran from his now clearly broken nose.

"Son of a bitch, you broke my nose! Wait till I tell McGonagal about this!" He yelled angrily.

"You broke your nose on the rock you fell on when you tripped." Draco said. "I never saw him hit you. Did anyone else see Logan hit Bickman."

Everyone including the Gryffindors shook their heads no.

"Perhaps you should watch your mouth and where you are going Travis." Carter told him before he stormed off into the castle.

"So now that he is gone, why are you suddenly hanging out with Slytherins Gin?" Hermione asked.

"Because we're dating" Draco spoke before I could think of a better lie. He put his arm around me and I wrap mine around him and smiled.

"Since when? " Harry asked.

"Yesterday, he asked me out. I said yes."

"No, you can't date him. " Ron was having trouble speaking as his face was growing red with anger.

"I'll date whomever I please Ronald" I let Draco lead me away before Ron could start a fight.

When we returned to Draco's room all his friends left us alone. I sat down in a chair and began pulling off my quidditch gear.

"Sorry about the game. It's probably my fault you all lost." As I pulled my quidditch jersey over my head I groaned in pain.

Before I even knew what was happening. Draco had taken over and finished undressing me until I was standing in front of him in my bra and panties. I looked down at my side where a huge bruise was forming from me colliding with Draco and falling. I walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror undoing all the charms that Pansy had done. I heard Draco gasped from behind me at the gash on my cheek.

"How did you?"

"I shattered the mirror this morning. Sorry" I finally forced myself to look at how bruised and broken I was. It made me sick to look at all the bruises and cuts."I'm disgusting"

"No you're not" He pulled me by the hand out of the bathroom and sat me on the bed while he changed.

"Why are you helping me?" I questioned.

"Honestly, I don't know. But I've already started and I'm not going to stop. Perhaps you are my proof that I am not my father. That I am not evil. At least that's what my friends think. And they like you. It's like you are hope for all of us that there is another path we can follow."

Before I could respond there was a knock at the door. He opened it a little and spoke quietly to the person on the other side before turning back towards me with a bag in his hand.

"Azlyn and Pansy put this together for you. It is some clothes and some cream that will hide the cuts and bruises." He handed it to me and I pulled out some black yoga pants and blue tank top. After dressing carefully I went in the bathroom and put the cream on my face and arms before returning to Draco.

"I should go back to my house soon." I figited suddenly uncomfortable standing before him especially considering how handsome he looked in his dark jeans and black t-shirt.

"I know but first we need to get some things together. Like since we are now pretending to date I should know your birthday, your class schedule, your brothers names, and such"

"Well my birthday is October 13. So in a week I will be fifteen. And I have Potions at eight, Transfiguration at nine, Defense Against The Dark Arts at ten, Herbology at eleven, Care of Magical Creatures at one, and then Study Hall at two. Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, and Ron." I curled up into one of the chairs in front of the fire.

"How many of them are going to kill me?" He sat across from me.

"Well Bill and Charlie trust my judgement. Percy and I are not that close. Fred and George probably will find it hilarious. Ron well you know how that is" I explained.

"What should I get you for your birthday?"

"I don't want things. And I hate flashy. I could honestly care less what is is or how much it costs."

We spoke for awhile and before we knew it, it was nearly nine at night. I bid him goodnight before walking to my own common room. Regan and Carter were playign chess and Sarah was reading a book by the fire.

"You and Malfoy huh?" Regan asking taking out one of her brother's pawns. Carter and Regan were albino. They both had almost red colored eyes and white hair. They were beatiful people and could easliy pass for famous models or movie stars.

"Yep, I'm heading up to bed. It's been a really long day." I made my way up to my dorm room and joined the rest of the fifth year girls getting ready for bed. I was so tired by the time I curled into bed that I fell asleep instantly.

It wasn't long before the nightmare began.

"Ah red, you know you want me" The dark figure shoved me against a wall.

"Let go of me" I begged as my hands were pinned over my head while he tore at my clothing.

"You know, I have always loved your long hair." He played with it a little before continuing on his conquest.

I shot up in bed, with silent tears pouring from my eyes. I threw the covers off and went to the trunk at the bottom of my bed. I dug around until I found what I was looking for and went to the bathroom. I stood in front the mirror and began cutting my hair. I chopped away at it until if fell in choppy layers a little below my chin. I used my wand to get rid of the pieces of hair on the floor before tiptoeing back into the room. I threw some clothes in my backpack and snuck out of the dorm.

It didn't take as long as I expected to find my way back to Draco's room. I spoke the password and slipped inside silently. He looked so young and innocent asleep in his bed. I slipped in beside him as quietly as possible and curled up. It wasn't long before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

"Ginny!" I sat straight up in bed looking around. Draco was sitting next to me staring at my hair. "What did you do to your hair?"

I reached my hand up and felt my shortened hair and the night before flooded back. I shuddered ivoluntarily at the memory.

"What happened last night?" He wrapped an arm around me and I fell back comfortably into his chest.

"Nightmare about what happened Friday. He told me how much he loved my long hair right before he …he" I couldn't finish but Draco knew what happened.

"I like it." He just brushed over what I said, obviously trying to bring me back to comfortable conversation.

"You do?" I smiled a little bit. It felt weird and foreign but in a good way.

"Yep." He smiled back at me. "You know" He said. "You're going to have to talk about it eventualy." The smile was gone replaced with a concerned look.

I jumped out of bed ignoring him and started getting dressed.

"Ginny"

I pulled a pair of jeans on.

"Ginny"

I pulled a black polo over my head.

"Ginny"

I pulled on my black boots over my jeans.

"Ginny"

I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door. He grabbed my arm and spun me to face him.

"I have homework to do"

"Ginny, please. Just give me a name. I promise, I won't go out and kill him."

"Bickman…Travis"And suddenly I had a feeling that he might be breaking his promise.


	2. Talk Is Cheap

A/n: I'm a little disappointed in the amount of reviews I have for this story. Regardless. I will post a new chapter every Monday. Thanks to the two wonderful people who did review. I love hearing opinions. On to the story

Chapter Two: Talk Is Cheap

"Bickman! I'll kill him. I will fucking kill him" Draco spun away from me and started walking away. I grabbed his wrist desperately trying to keep him in place.

"No, you promised. If you hurt him you'll go to jail and then I'll be lost. You keep the nightmares away." I begged.

"Ginny, he hurt you. He broke you. And you want me to just let him go on living like it never happened?" He slid down the wall and sat down on the floor putting his head into his hands.

"Yes, because he'll get away with it either way. I tell, we go to trial and he finds a way out. At least like this the whole world isn't staring at me because of it. Please Draco, just help me put the pieces back together again. Just help me heal. One day karma will get him. Until then I want my life back. Please." Tears poured down my face as I spoke.

He looked up at me, stood, and wrapped me in his arms. "Okay. Just don't cry. It makes me sad."

Someone knocking on the door cause us to pull apart. Logan walked in first followed by Azlyn, Pansy and Blaise.

"Oh my gosh, I love your hair Ginny" Azlyn admired plopping down in front of the fire.

"So I doubled checked. Ginny and I have all the same classes. Looks like you'll be seeing a lot of me Ginny." He said slipping an arm around his girlfriend when he joined her in front of the fire.

"Has my room suddenly become the hang out spot for everyone?" Draco questioned as Pansy and Blaise also made themselves comfortable in front of the fire.

"Why yes, yes it has" Pansy laughed. "Where else are we going to hang out especially since we now have a Gryffindor in our group?"

"Good point" Draco responded.

Monday morning, I felt awful. Probably because I hadn't slept the night before because every time I shut my eyes I saw Travis standing over me with his condescending smile. I slid into my seat next to Ron at the Gryffindor table and nibbled on a piece of toast while everyone around me chatted happily.

"Ginny, what is your mother going to say when she sees your hair?" Hermione turned to me as she began packing her books into her school bag.

"I don't know, Hermione. I would think she would be more upset by my choice in a boyfriend." I yawned and began to fix my tie.

"Morning Red" Travis slid into the seat on my other side. "So it's true then? You and Malfoy together? "

"Yes, it's true Bickman. You're a little too close to my girlfriend for my taste so why don't you move away before I make you" Draco loomed with an evil glint in his eyes that sent shivers down my spine.

Travis shoved away from the table and walked away in a huff without saying anything. I stood from my seat and followed Draco out into the halls where Logan was waiting for us. I quickly tucked my shirt into my skirt and shrugged into my robes.

"You look exhausted Ginny."Logan commented

"I had trouble sleeping last night." I stretched my arms before slinging my bag over my shoulder.

Draco pulled me into a hug. "Come to my room during lunch so you can take a nap. Focus on school as much as you can. It will help and Logan will be with you the whole time so Bickman won't get near you. " He kissed the top of my head before walking away to his first class.

When lunch came around I was trying not to fall asleep walking. Logan walked with me to Draco's room and once I was inside he headed for the great hall. I kicked off my shoes, undid my tie, and untucked my shirt before falling back on his bed. It wasn't long before I was out like a light. And it was much too soon before someone was waking me up.

"Ginny, time to wake up." Draco shook me awake gently.

I sat up slowly yawning. "I don't want to be awake" I stood up and began straightening out my uniform and getting ready to go. "How long have you been here?"

"I probably got here a few minutes after you did. But you were asleep. I've just been working on my homework."

I pulled my robe on and slung my bag over my shoulder just as Logan walked in. I looked at him with a scarf wrapped around his neck and cursed silently. I forgot it was cold outside and hadn't grabbed my scarf this morning. Draco noticed and pulled one of his green and silver scarves out of a door before wrapping it around my neck. It smelled like him and that calmed me for some reason.

"Thanks, I 'll see you after study hall then." I followed Logan out the door and off to care of magical creatures.

In study hall, Logan was poking me periodically to keep me awake while I worked on my homework. I was writing my potions essay when Travis turned around from the table in front of us.

"So Red, Malfoy got his friend here keeping an eye on you?" He smirked.

"Shove it, Bickman" Logan warned.

"Oh, I'm so afraid Macnear. How's your girlfriend? Maybe you should be trailing her and not Red all the time."

"Is that a threat Bickman? Because you may just need to watch yourself a little more." Logan didn't seem threatened at all.

"Oh, I'm so afraid." Travis laughed before turning back to his work.

At the end f the day I split up from Logan and once again went to Draco's room. I just kicked off my shoes before climbing in bed this time, too exhausted to care, and was asleep instantly.

When I woke again, I wondered what time it was. The fire had gone out and Draco was sleeping peacefully next to me. I looke up at the clock on the wall and noticed it was a little before midnight. I felt gross from sleeping in my clothes and I ached all over my body. Slowly, trying not to disturb Draco, I climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

I turned on the shower hoping it wouldn't wake Draco up and began digging through the bag of my things I stashed in his room. I pulled out all my shower stuff and began undressing. When I went to pull off my socks I tripped. Trying to keep my self from fallin I reached out and ended up slamming my hand into my razor which made it break and the blades fall out all of the floor. I cursed quietly and picked up the pieces putting them on the counter.

When I lifted the blade off the ground it caught my other arm on the way up. I froze when the tiny cut began to bleed. And I stared, completely fascinated by it. After a few minutes, I stood up, sliding the razor in my backpack without a reason why I was keeping it and tossed the rest of the razor into the trash before stepping in to the shower. It was the most normal I had felt since the Friday before. And I liked it.

When I stepped back into Draco's room he was sitting up reading in bed.

"Did I wake you?" I questioned sliding into bed next to him.

"No, But I figured I would wait for you to come back. Feeling better?" He put down his book and turned out the light.

"Yes, surprisingly, some sleep and a warm shower do help with exhaustion." I curled up the covers, enjoying the warmth of his body next to mine.

"You know, you can stay here whenever you want. You seem to sleep better here than anywhere else." He yawned and sank down under the covers as well.

"I may just have to take you up on that." I closed my eyes drifting back to my dreamless sleep.

The rest of the week went by in pretty much the same fashion. Every night I would pull my razor out of my backpack and enjoy a moment or two of control. I slept in long sleeve shirts to cover the cuts and always changed in a room without anyone else.

Halloween brought the first hogsmeade weekend of the year and it was nice to have an empty castle to wander in. Draco and the others went on without me as I told them I had homework to catch up on. I walked up to the gryffindor tower and curled up in front of the fire with my potion notes and studied for an upcoming test. I'd been there maybe ten minutes when Carter Temply walked in.

"Mind if I join you Gin?" He slid onto the floor next to me with his books in his hands.

"Not at all. You didn't go to Hogsmeade with Regan?" I asked looking up from my notes.

"Nope, I have a charms test coming up. And she well she is boyfriend trolling." He laughed. "Where is your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend." It slipped out. I don't know why I couldn't lie to him about me and Draco being together when I was lieing to everyone else.

"I thought…?" He looked confused.

"We're just friends. It's just to make people think we are unavailable. There's a guy that just won't leave me alone." I quickly tried to fix my slip up.

"Oh, so are you available or not?" He put his books down on the floor and turned to me.

"I don't know. I've confused myself." I closed my potion textbook and put it on the floor.

"I hope you are."He smiled.

"Why?"

Instead of an answer in words he leaned in towards me and kissed me. I flinched flashing back to what had happened barely a week before and he pulled away.

"I'm sorry?" He looked hurt.

"It's not you Carter, I promise. I'm just going through some stuff right now and I can't do this, with anyone, not right now." I felt horrible.

"When Ginny? I've had feelings for you for nearly a year. I don't know how long I can wait."

"Can you just give me a month? I'll have an answer for you the first of December, please. I like you Carter I really do, but I need to sort some stuff out before I can be with someone." This whole conversation made me sick to my stomach, I wanted to puke.

"A month, I can do that." He whispered more to himself than to me.

I smiled at him and tucked a piece of my short hair behind my ear. I gathered my books and stood up with him following suit.

"I have to go, I'll see you at quidditch practice tomorrow." I let him hug me and fought the urge to pull away.

Back in the safety of Draco's room, I fled to the safety of the bathroom and pulled out my razor. I slid down the wall, tears pouring down my face and blood dripping off my arm. I stayed that way for awhile before succumbing to my body's protests of the position I was sitting in and going back into Draco's bedroom. I finished my homework before curling into Draco's bed and taking a nap.

I was woken up by the sound of Draco walking in and I sat up in bed. I could feel the puffiness of my eyes from having cried for so long before. And I could tell that Draco saw it too.

"What happened? What's wrong?" He dropped his bags, kicked off his shoes and climbed in bed next to me.

"I got kissed." I cried.

"What?" I was positive I had imagined the flash of anger in his eyes before his composer returned.

"I went up to Gryffindor to study and Carter joined me. I let it slip that we aren't actually dating and he kissed me." I waited for some reaction, something to back up the crazy thoughts in my head.

"Most people would be happy that they got kiss, I don't understand what is wrong with that." He responded in a perfectly neutral voice.

"I flinched; I couldn't even let a perfectly nice boy kiss me. He thought I was rejecting him, so I made up a story about needing some time and so he gave me until December first to make a decision."

"It's only been a week, Ginny. You are far from healed but you'll get there." He pulled me into a hug and I felt safe again.

"I hope so," I whispered. "I hope so"

Another week past much like the one before, but November brought the chill and snow of winter. Everyone was out playing in the snow, making angels and having snowball fights, but I stayed indoors. I studied and stayed in Draco's room for the most part, unwilling to be part of the carefree fun outside.

Azlyn and Pansy stayed with me for the most part and we told stories of our childhoods. My stories were more upbeat than theirs were. I found it odd how completely turned around things were. They were upbeat and happy and I was broken and afraid.

Classes blurred and time crawled by and by mid-November I was no closer to a decision about Carter than I was when he kissed me. My arms were in a constant state of dull stingy and it kept me floating along. One afternoon, I took a walk along the shore of the now frozen lake, when Carter caught up to me.

"So how are you?" He asked pulling his cloak closer to his body.

"I'm fine, And you?" I stopped and stared out at the ice.

"Cold, look Ginny, I know you agreed on a month but I was just wondering if you were any closer to a decision?" He teeth chattered slightly as he spoke.

"I'm trying Carter, I am. It's just that I …" And all of a sudden I felt sick. I ran to the nearest trash bin and threw up. Carter stayed close and was looking at me with concerned eyes when I turned back to face him.

"Are you okay?" He looked frightened.

"I'm fine, must have caught a bug or something. I'm sorry if you get sick now." I brushed it off but in reality I felt awful.

"Are you sure, because I could take you to madam Pomfrey." He was being nice, so nice. But I couldn't, too much of a risk, too much at stake.

"I'm fine, really. I'm just going to go lie down. I'll be fine." I walked away quickly but he followed.

"I'll walk you up then." He resolved himself falling in step beside me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I wasn't planning to go lay down in my dorm. I had been planning on going to Draco's room.

It felt odd lying in my dorm room after being gone for so long. I was glad none of my roommates were there. I wasn't in the mood to deal with questions about my absence of comments on why I had been sleeping somewhere else. If I hadn't been feeling so horrid I probably would have found a way to sneak back to Draco's room. I managed to fall into a fitful sleep after only a few minutes.

"_Please stop" My whole body hurt. This wasn't how I pictured losing my virginity, not at all._

"_Shut up!" He grunted, clearly enjoying himself._

"_Please, I'm begging you to stop." I cried._

_He slapped me hard across the face and I whimpered in pain. "I said shut up, bitch!"_

I woke up sweating and crying. I noticed it was late, probably past diner as I jumped out of bed and fled my dorm. As I ran through the common room, I vaguely heard someone call my name worriedly but I didn't stop.

I didn't stop until I was in Draco's room. He looked up from his book when I walked in and immediately dropped it on the table, standing up. I ran into his arms and fell apart. He just stood their holding me until I started feeling sick and ran to the bathroom so I could throw up.

"Ginny? Are you okay?" He handed me a damp cloth when I was done and I wiped my face off standing slowly. I shook my head before brushing my teeth slowly willing myself to feel better.

"You need to see Madam Pompfrey."

"No, I don't. I'm just going to take a bath and get some sleep. I'll be fine." I pushed him out of the bathroom and locked the door.

Once the water was running and my clothes were piled on the floor, I pulled my razor blade out of where I had hidden it and slipped into the tub. I watched the blood bubble up on my arm then run into the water. It swirled around before disappearing.

Half an hour later, I stepped out of the bathroom in a long sleeve black shirt and black sweatpants. Draco was sitting on the bad staring at me.

"What?" I felt self-conscience like he knew what I had been doing and I tugged at my sleeves nervously.

"How long has it been since…?" He stopped before finishing the sentence but I knew what he was talking about.

I sat down next to him feeling sick even thinking about it again.

"Three weeks, I think" Time was blurred for me so I wasn't really sure.

"I've been thinking, Gin. Could you be pregnant?" He was staring at my stomach intently, like maybe that was enough to make what he was saying untrue.

I opened my mouth to tell him it was impossible but nothing came out. I shut my mouth and forced myself back into that night. But I didn't know if he had prevented it. I hadn't really thought about it then. I shook involuntarily and began to feel the heat of tears falling down my face.

"Oh my god."


	3. Fighting With Fate

Ch. 3 Fighting With Fate

a/n: I believe I have forgotten to disclaim the majority of these characters. They are not mine, well most of them anyway. Enjoy

…Looking back, I think the only reason I said yes to Carter was because I was trying to piss Draco off. There was only so much I could take before I couldn't be around him anymore. He just couldn't understand why I wanted to do things my way. Why couldn't he have just left well enough alone.

"_Ginny, you need to see a doctor and find out." He followed me through the streets of Hogsmeade during the last weekend in November._

"_This again? Just drop it Draco, I'm not going to a doctor. I'll figure it out of my own." I pulled my coat tighter around myself getting angry. We had been having the same fight for nearly two weeks._

"_Your being so immature. I'm trying to help you do the right thing and you're shoving me away" We had stopped walking and he had turned to face me angrily._

"_The right thing? Draco, I'm trying to get on with my life after someone decided not to do the right thing for me. There I nothing wrong with me! I don't need to go to the doctor! Just leave me alone!"_

"_Fine, I will!" He stormed away. And I was left in the cold all alone._

December was a blur of horrid nightmares and days of pretending I was fine. People constantly gossiped about my sudden change from dating Draco to dating Carter. It was almost funny to listen to the stories they came up with. But in the end, I never told anyone the truth and never answered when people asked what had happened.

A week before the start of the holidays, I saw Draco walking around with Kristen Carver. She was skinny, blonde, and according to Pansy and Azlyn, a total whore. Every time I spotted them together it made me feel sick. I missed him. His friendship had been keeping me sane, but it was gone. And the scars on my arms were overlapping.

Carter and Regan stayed at Hogwarts so I said goodbye before heading to Hogsmeade to catch the train.

"I'll miss you, love" He hugged me and my arms stung under the pressure.

"I'll miss you too" I smiled as best I could at him. Behind him I could see Draco saying goodbye to Kristen. I was almost happy knowing she wouldn't be with him the whole holiday. He was going to where I didn't know. But he was leaving with Logan, Blaise, Pansy, and Azlyn. I had drifted off in thought when I realized he was staring over her head at me. Our eyes met for only a few second, but it was intense. And it was something I would never forget.

I felt tears welling up so I hurried away from Carter, joining the group headed for the train. Once I found an empty compartment, I sunk down into a seat and cried. I didn't even realize I had company until two very familiar arms wrapped around me. I looked up into Draco's eyes unsure of how to react.

"You looked so sad, I couldn't help following you. " His voice centered me. It comforted me. I missed it and him, He was … my best friend. Back then, he was my best friend.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a childish brat. " I sobbed.

He reached up and pushed my hair back. It had grown almost past my shoulders. I was glad, my parents still hadn't seen it.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have pushed you. You look awful Gin. Have you been sleeping?" He ran a thumb across my cheek wiping away stray tears and he stared at the dark circles under my eyes.

"Not really" The train lurched as we pulled away from Hogmeade and I nearly fell out of my seat. Draco steadied me before pulling his long coat off. And handing it to me.

"Sleep, I'll be here. And I'll wake you when we get close to London." He moved to the seat across from me and I slid down so I was lying down. I pulled his coat over me like a blanket and I was asleep instantly.

Far too soon though he was gently shaking me awake.

"Ginny, we're about ten minutes from London." He was sitting on the floor staring into my eyes.

I sat up and stretched. Then hesitantly went to pass him back his coat once he sat back up on one of the seats. He put his hand out to stop me.

"Keep it, you have a piece of me to keep the nightmares away over the holidays. I was glad, because the smell of him on the coat made me feel okay again.

"Thank you, Draco" I managed to fold the coat up and put it in my bookbag.

"I know you don't want to talk about it but …" He stared out the window unsure of how I would react to his next words.

"I have an appointment" I knew where he was going anyway. "Pansy is meeting me in London on Monday."

"That's good. She can tell me how it went." The train was slowing down.

"You can come if you want." As the train stopped we both stood and stretched. "It might make it easier. If you were there."

"Are you sure? I'll come if you want me to but I don't want to make it uncomfortable."

"If anything, Draco, you'll be making it easier." There was an awkward silence before we heard students starting to leave the train. He pulled me into a hug.

"I'll see you on Monday then, have a good holiday." He smiled before waving as he left the compartment and joined the students shuffling away.

I gathered my things and headed out onto the platform wher my parents were waiting with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"What have you done to your hair?" My mum pulled me into a hug while examining my new hairstyle.

"You should have seen it when she first chopped it mum. It was barely to her chin." Ron laughed and I glared at him.

"Why would you do such a thing?" She asked as we bagan walking out of the train station.

"I wanted a change. You don't like it?" I noticed Draco's group as we walked past Azlyn waved and chuckled hearing my conversation. I rolled my eyes at her and stuck out my toungue . I heard someone else laughing at looked up to see Narcissa Malfoy laughing at our exchange. My mother followed her line of site and looked amused at us as well.

"Hello Cissy" My mum greeted smiling.

"Molly, how have you been?" Mrs. Malfoy responded pleasantly. "Have you met April Kartikofia? " She gestured to the deep skinned woman standing at her right. It was odd how Azlyn had described her mom perfectly.

"I don't believe so, Molly Weasley" My mom reached out and shook hands with the woman. "It's a pleasure to meet you"

"And you as well, we really should all get together over tea sometime. Share stories of motherhood." She spoke with a heavy accent but I couldn't place the country it was from.

"Molly has plenty, Ron and Ginny are her youngest children. She has five older boys as well."

"Really? I have barely managed with just one, You have more patience than I ever could." She laughed.

"Thank you, It's been a long road. We had better be off. The rest of the boys are waiting for us at home"

They all said goodbye and we went our separate ways.

"You know, Cissy and I use to be very close at Hogwarts. Back then, it really didn't matter what house you were in. Everyone got along back then. " She reminisced as we headed home. "Maybe soon it will be that way again."

"Maybe…" I stayed silent staring out the window the entire way home. I wasn't shocked to see five red heads standing outside in the snow waiting. I hadn't seen my brothers since early in the summer and I knew they would probably only be home a day or two before returning to their respective wives and children.

I was met with five identical looks of disbelief as they all took in my hair.

"Ah Gin, your hair is shorter than mine." Bill said wrapping me up in a big hug.

"Does that mean you are going to cut it?" Charlie asked pulling me away.

"Not a chance in hell." He laughed while I was passed amongst them. We walked inside together and all found places I front of the fire.

"So Ginny, I hear you and Malfoy shacked up this year?" Fred laughed causing the whole room to go silent and my parents to turn and stare.

"I thought you were dating Carter Temply?" My father questioned.

"I am, I um, I dated Draco briefly earlier this year." I choked out. I had almost forgotten that Fred and George were still connected to Hogwarts gossip through their joke shop.

"Draco? You must have really liked him?" Charlie added keeping things calm.

"Yea, he was really good to me. We just felt more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend though." I was surprised by how easy it was to lie about Draco to my family.

"But you haven't spoken to him since you split up. And Sarah told me she spotted you to having an argument at the end of November in Hogsmeade. "I wanted to hit Hermione. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut?

"Didn't I tell you? They sat together on the train today. At least that is what Azlyn told me when I went looking for Ginny." Ron replied. "She said something about you and Draco needing to talk and that you were with him."

"How's Carter going to feel about you and Draco on the train?" Harry and Carter were good friends so I knew this wouldn't stay between just my family. And Carter would tell Regan and then the whole school would know.

"Leave your sister alone, boys. It's getting late. Time for bed." My mum interjected and I was grateful.

"We are grown men. And yet our mother is still telling us when to go to bed? " George laughed as we all climbed the stairs to our respective bedrooms.

Monday morning dawned early and bright and I fought back the urge to puke as I slowly went through the motions of getting ready. My whole family was under the impression that I would be spending the day with Luna doing some holiday shopping and luckily I had been able to get Luna to agree to lie for me if asked about it without having to really explain much to here. And for that I was grateful.

I slipped out of my house into the snow and walked all the way to town where I caught the first morning train to London. I tried to nap during the nearly three hour ride but my mind wouldn't let me. I stepped off the train onto the platform and saw Pansy and Draco sitting on a bench each drinking what I assumed was a cup of coffee. Pansy noticed me first and directed Draco's attention towards me. They stood together and walked towards me.

"You look tired." Pansy observed looping her arm in mine and leading me towards the row of taxi's outside the train station.

"Thanks Pansy, such a nice compliment." I rolled my eyes. "It's like a three hour train ride. I've been up since like five."

Draco remained quiet the entire taxi ride to the free clinic, he didn't even greet me. And he stayed silent as I filled out paper work and the nurse drew blood. When I was finally settled into an exam room I had had enough.

"Draco?" He had been looking out the window at the cars going by but he turned when I spoke. "You didn't have to come. You obviously don't want to be here." I fidgeted on the exam table, the paper crinkling below me.

"What? Why would you think that?" He walked over to the table and stood directly in front of me.

"I'm just going to go wait in the waiting room." Pansy excused herself smiling slightly at me before stepping out of the room.

"You haven't said a single word to me all day until now."

"I'm sorry; I've been lost in thought Ginny. Do you think this is easy? Being here watching you go through this? I … this isn't fair. You've done nothing wrong in your life and yet one of the worse possible things that could happen has happened to you. It angers me. So many terrible people have such easy lives and yet here you are in this situation." There was something in his eyes as he spoke and at that moment I couldn't quiet place it. And I had no response for him.

For what seemed like and eternity we stared at each other, until a knock on the door broke us from our thoughts. The doctor walked in and sat down in a chair in front of me.

"So, Ginny, your blood test results are in and you are in fact pregnant." She held a pitying look in her eyes and I understood. I was the knocked up teenager. Another statistic for research. "Do you have any questions? Need a referral? Anything?"

"No I don't thank you though. If that is it can I leave now.? It was taking all I had not to break down into sobs.

"That is all. Good luck Ms. Weasley." She exited the room quickly and the tears spilled out of my eyes.

Draco wrapped his arm around me and held me as I cried. He held me all the way back to the train station and as I waited for my train. He looked reluctant when I finally had to pull away from him to catch my train but I assured him I would be fine and I would see him on the train back to Hogwarts. I spent the entire ride crying but managed to compose myself before joining my family for the rest of the holiday.

I spent every night sleeping with Draco's coat next to me. Unfortunately the effect wore off two nights before the end of the holidays. I had a nightmare so horrific I woke up screaming. Hermione jumped up from where she was sleeping on the floor flipped on the lights and shook me awake. Soon enough my whole family was standing in the doorway and I was shaking feeling sick.

"Ginny?" Hermione asked looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

I was only able to shake my head before bolting for the bathroom shoving my brothers out of the way. After I was sure I wasn't going to puke again, I washed my hands and face feeling gross and opened the door. Charlie was sitting against the wall waiting for me.

"Where is everyone?" I wondered noticing the empty hallway.

"Downstairs, mom's making them tea. I told her I wanted to talk to you." He put an arm around my shoulder and led me back to my bedroom.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"What is going on with you? The Ginny I saw this summer was happy and energetic. This whole time you have been tired and gloomy. And sick, this isn't the first time you've puked your guts out since you've been home."

"I didn't realize anybody was watching me that closely." I stared out the window at the stars unwilling to look him in the eyes.

"Look at me Ginny," I turned to face him. "Bill and I are really worried for you… And please don't take this the wrong way. But…are you…pregnant?"

"No, of course not" maybe if I said it then that would make it true. "It's just a stomach bug. I'm fine , I promise"

"Are you sure?" He looked like he didn't believe me.

"Charlie…" I stared him down.

"Ginny, I'm serious. You know you can trust me with anything."

"I know, but there is nothing going on." I gave him my best nothing is wrong smile. And the conversation was over.

I was glad when the holiday was over and we were finally headed back to Hogwarts. I found and empty compartment and stared out the window wrapped up in Draco's coat and my own thoughts. Soon, I dozed off into a fitful sleep and was starting to get lost in a nightmare when someone gently shook me awake.

"Your tossing and turning" Draco sat down next to me.

"What am I going to do, Draco?" I absentmindedly gestured down to my stomach.

"I wish I knew, Ginny. Maybe it is time you tell people what happened."

"No, I'm just starting to feel like me again. Doing that will just put me back where I started."

"Well either you're going to have to tell Carter what happened or break up with him. If you don't he is going to think you cheated on him."

"Not necessarily. I got pregnant before I started dating him."

"Great, so then people are going to think that I knocked you up."

"I just won't tell anyone, I'm barely fifteen, I don't want a baby. I can give it up for adoption then no one will ever know. I've already done the math, I'm due during the summer. But I'm defiantly going to need help to pull it off."

"Azlyn, Pansy, Logan, and Blaise can help I guess. I'm only doing this because you have no one else. I stick to my original comment. I think you should tell your family. So I am not overly pleased with this whole idea."

"What other choice do I have, Draco? I can't be a mother at fifteen. I can't spend the next seventeen years looking at a child who reminds me constantly of that night. Please Draco. I can't do this without your help. I am begging you."

"Fine"


	4. Full Circle

Chapter 4: Full Circle

a/n: I love my reviewers ..even though there are only a couple of you.

"What about these two?" Pansy asked showing me a smiling picture of a couple.

"No, that picture just screams overly perfectionist." I sighed and wiggled my toes in front of the fire in Draco's room.

It was nearly the end of March and yet the snow continued to fall outside. I was thankful though. The cold weather meant I could wear think sweaters that covered the now barely there bump, the constant reminder of the nightmares that still plagued me most nights.

Pansy, Draco, and I had been pouring over couples to adopt the baby for days. Pansy had managed to connect me to a confidential wizard adoption agency. I had been promised the couple would never know my name. All I had to do was pick out the couple and sign some papers. I thought it would be easy and I would just pick the first couple that looked decent. But so far I had been unable to find a couple that I felt was good enough for the tiny human growing inside me.

But I had decided that I would pick a couple that day. It was an emotionally draining process and I didn't know how much longer I could keep finding excuses to not spend my free time with Carter. As far as he knew I was with Pansy who was tutoring me for my OWLS.

I flipped a few more pages in the book of childless desperate couples as Draco had decided to call it and I saw a familiar face. I almost dropped the book in shock as if their picture would run and tell the real them what I was doing. Draco and Pansy noticed my expression and both looked over my shoulder at the book in front of me.

"Oh wow, did you know they were adopting?" Pansy pointed at the picture of Charlie and his wife Anna. They had eloped nearly a year ago after a whirlwind romance. In the picture they were both sitting in a park under a tree smiling at the camera completely content in each other's arms. I smiled at the picture before turning to Pansy to answer her question.

"No, I remember them mentioning that they were trying to have a baby awhile back. But they never mentioned this. It doesn't matter thought. They are perfect. I choose them." I turned to look at my friends with a smile on my face, assuring them that this was what I wanted and I wasn't losing my mind anymore than I already had.

"Are you sure?" Draco asked his eyes searching mine for doubt but finding none.

"I am positive." And I was.

"Alright then, I'll send a letter to the adoption agency telling them your choice and then they will send you some paperwork to sign and it will be done." Pansy kept an even tone when speaking. I could always tell she didn't quite know how to feel about the situation I was in. I understood and tried to ignore it the best I could.

Two days later I received the paperwork I needed to sign and officially signed away my child to my older brother and his wife. I knew that both Draco and Pansy expected me to be upset by this but I wasn't. It put me at peace knowing I would get to be in the baby's life as an aunt.

Time began to fly after that and soon it was time for easter break. My stomach was starting to become too big too hide under my uniform so pansy taught me a glamour spell that would hide it when I wasn't in Draco's room with them.

It wasn't very often though, that the three of us had been together. I was almost always with Carter. Draco was always with Kristen and Pansy was with Blaise. I wasn't even able to see them on the train as Carter was returning home as well. I sat in a compartment with him, Regan, Harry, Luna, Ron, and Hermione.

I was tired and lost in thought for most of the ride so I paid very little attention to the conversation going on around me until I heard Ron calling my name.

"Ginny?" He nudged my shoulder. "I've been trying to get your attention for nearly five minutes now."

"Oh, I'm sorry. " I turned to meet the gazes of my friends. "What is it?" I tried to pretend to be interested in what he wanted to tell me.

"I asked you if you had any clue what Charlie and Anna big announcement will be on Friday. Maybe she's pregnant. First, niece or nephew, you know?"

"Maybe…" I smiled slightly trying not to give away the big news I already knew.

I remained a part of the conversation all the way back to London but reclaimed my silence on the way back to the burrow.

"Your hair is finally past your shoulders again, Ginny" My mother smiled back at me from her place in the front of the car with my father. I knew she preferred it that way. Everyone did, absolutely everyone but me. I was trying to just force myself to deal with it growing back out. Little by little I was reclaiming my old self. But I knew, for the rest of my life, every time I saw my niece or nephew, I would be reminded of how they came to be.

I tried to be involved in activities with my family all week, convincing them all that whatever I had been going through during the holidays was clearly over and done with. On Tuesday, I once again had Luna cover for me as I made the trip into London back to the doctor. Waiting for me at the train station stood Pansy and Azlyn, whom I hadn't seen much of the last couple of months. Pansy had explained that her and Logan were going through a rough patch and things were not very good at either of their homes. But she stood with Pansy who knew I had not informed Draco of this visit. Today, I would find out the gender of the baby. And hopefully through the adoption agency, Charlie and Anna would be informed before Friday so they could either share it in their announcement or keep it to themselves.

"Oh Ginny you make such a cute pregnant woman"' Azlyn remarked lightly. This had been the first time she had seen me without the glamour that hid my growing stomach.

"Thank you Azlyn, I think." I self consciencly wrapped my sweater a little tighter around me as Pansy cam and looped her arm around me.

"Azlyn is very good at sticking her foot in her mouth, if that is how the saying goes." Pansy rolled her eyes and Azlyn blushed slightly.

"Oi, I didn't mean to upset you Ginny" realizing her mistake she apologized quickly.

"No, it's quite alright Azlyn, it's good to know for future refrence." I smiled at her before the three of us set out towards the doctor's office.

Once inside we sat down on a small sofa clearly not meant for three people and waited.

"Gin, you know Draco is in London today with Blaise, and Blaise knows where we are so if you want Draco to come just tell me and I can have him here." Pansy was only trying to be helpful. I knew that, but it didn't change how I felt.

"No Pansy, and it's not that I don't want him here. I just think he is beginning to get just a little too attached to the baby and I think it will just be easier for him to be as uninvolved as possible at this point."

"Ginerva Weasley"

"Let's do this shall we." My friends helped me to my feet then each kept a hand on mine as we let the nurse lead us into the little ultrasound room.

After my appointment, I owled one copy of the ultrasound picture with the baby's gender on it to the adoption agency, owled another to Draco with a brief letter attached, and hid the last in a small locked box in my dresser.

Friday arrived soon enough and all the Weasley's plus Harry and Hermione gathered outside wating for Charlie and Anna to tell everyone their news.

"First of all, Anna is not pregnant" Charlie stated while everyone around looked slightly upset that their guess had been wrong. "But, we are going to have a baby." Silence

"I'm confused, how can Anna not be pregnant and you still have a baby?" Ron asked.

"We're adopting." Anna explained smiling. 'We've been having trouble conceiving so we decided this would be the best way to go about things. We learned in March that a young expecting witch has chosen us to be her baby's parents and on Tuesday we received an owl with an ultrasound picture and the baby's gender." Her excitement just reinforced the decision I had made. It was odd hearing them talk about the baby I was carrying but I was happy for them. At least one good thing could come of this. And they would never know how the baby truly came to be.

"Is it a boy or a girl then?" Mum asked. "And when is he or she due to arrive if you already know the gender."

"It's a girl. She is due in July and we have already selected her name. We are going to call her Merci Grace Weasley." Charlie answered.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you, both of you" Mum hugged them and the family celebrated the wonderful news.

I went to my room early claiming I was tired and wanted to get some rest before the train ride back to school in the morning after I packed my things. I made sure my locked box that held the picture of Merci and my razor was tucked into the bottom of my truck before I layed down in bed and looked down at my stomach. Only I could see past the glamour charm.

"Alright Merci, now you're real. You have parents and they will be so good to you, I promise." I felt tears pouring down my face as I fell asleep.

On the train back to Hogwarts, I sat with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Regan and Carter. They all chatted joyfully about what they did during the short break and the exciting news that Ron and I were going to have a niece. But I stayed silent, every time they spoke her name, Merci would do a flip like she knew what they were saying and soon I was beginning to feel sick.

"Gin, love, you've been awful quiet. Is something bothering you? " Carter touched my arm gently and I tried to force a smile to my face.

"Yes, I'm just tired. I think I'm gonna go see if there is an empty compartment I can maybe take a nap in."

"I'll come with you"

"No, don't be silly. I'll be asleep. There is much better conversation here. I'll see you when we get to Hogsmeade alright?" I kissed him on the cheek and brushed passed him before he could say anything else.

At the very back of the train I found an unoccupied compartment and curled up on one of the seats.

"Calm yourself, Merci , please" I whispered.

"Talking to yourself now, Red?" Bickman had slid the door open silently and was standing over me.

"Go away jackass" I sat up and regretted it because it brought a wave of sickness over me.

"Temper, temper, darling…." He leaned down so he was inches from my face and ran a hand through my hair. "If you're not careful it just might get you hurt"

"Get away from me now, or I'll scream" I warned pushing myself back away from him as far as possible, while mentally begging Merci to calm down and settle so I could protect us from him.

"I don't think you will, love" He cupped his other hand around my mouth and then leaned down and put his lips to my ears. "Why don't we have a little fun love?" I could feel his hand move from my hair down to my leg where he began to make his way from my knee up under my skirt.

Hot tears burned my eyes and cheeks but I was frozen, just as before. I was helpless and afraid. Then Merci kicked hard and I knew I had to do something. So I bit his hand as hard as I could and I knew I broke skin when I started to taste blood.

"You stupid bitch, what was that for?" He recoiled from me then slapped me hard with his free hand. My face stung but I knew I only had moments before his next blow. I stood and kneed him as hard as I could in the groin before bolting away. I knew I had maybe two minutes before he would come after me so I had to find my destination quickly. I scanned the compartments quickly as I ran looking for the platinum blonde hair I knew so well. When I saw it and was sure it was the correct person, I dashed inside closing the door behind me quickly.

They were frozen, five identical looks of confusion and worry on their faces. Then Draco's face changed and I knew that a bruise was forming on my face . He stood and I fell into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"So stupid, I should have known, didn't feel well, just wanted to lay down." I mumbled well aware I wasn't making any sense.

He passed me off to Azlyn and Pansy quickly and quietly before walking out with Blaise and Logan.

"Draco, no" I had caught the anger in his eyes and I knew exactly where they were going. I followed them with Pansy and Azlyn at my side, but we didn't go far. Bickman was in the hallway obviously looking for me.

"You son of a bitch, I swear to god, lat a hand on her again and I will gladly spend my life in Azkaban for killing you!" Draco yelled before pulling his wand. Logan and Blaise followed suite and doors began to slide open. Directly behind Bickman my brother and friends spilled out of their compartment after recognizing Draco's voice. I covered the side of my face with my hair hiding the mark from the slap.

"She came on to me, not my fault if Red finds me attractive." His cocky attitude made me want to throw up more.

"Don't call her that! And I highly doubt she would be running away from you if she was trying to get with you!" Draco's wand hand was beginning to shake and I was afraid at any moment he would snap.

" I turned her down. She's cute and all but I much prefer her with long hair." He winked at me and I could feel myself starting to shake.

Draco tucked his wand into his pocket and for a moment I was completely lost as to what was happening. Then the moment passed and Draco punched him square in the face, breaking his nose for the second time that year.

"You sick bastard. What part of I will gladly kill you are you not comprehending? You have five seconds to run before I take my wand out again and do something much worse than breaking your nose." Draco began to count and Bickman turned and walked from the fight quickly.

Whispering began immediately between all the students who had witnessed the interaction. Draco turned and walked straight back to me, wrapping his arms around me. The sickness melted away and Merci calmed finally.

"What the bloody hell is going on Ginny? I thought you were going to take a nap?" Carter was standing behind Draco with an aggravated look on his face.

"I had an unpleasant run in with Bickman when I was looking for somewhere to nap." I pulled away from Draco but he hovered protectively behind me.

"And your first thought is to run to him?" He gestured to Draco. "I can't do this anymore. I am so sick of being second to him, which I shouldn't be if you truly never dated him like you said." People's whispers were becoming more intense with each new bit of gossip. "I'm sorry. I'm in love with you but I won't do this. So you have to choose, him or me?"

"Him" I surprised myself. I hadn't even thought about it. And everyone around me gasped at my choice.

"Fine, goodbye Ginny" He turned, pushed past our friends and walked alone down the corridor. Regan turned and followed him away looking rather angry.

Ron, Harry and Hermione turned back into their compartment. And I let Pansy pull me back into the one I had run to only minutes ago. We all sat in silence for the rest of the of the train ride and before we got to Hogsmeade I rejoined my brother to collect my things and followed him back to school. While we sat in the great hall eating dinner we could all hear people whispering about the interactions that took place on the train.

"Gah, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to bed" I stood and walked out before anyone could respond. Without even thinking about it I made my way down to Draco's room, whispering the password and stepping inside.

"Oh Draco, I've been wait…holy fuck! You're not Draco" Kristen jumped out of bed wrapping a robe around her previously nude body. "What the fuck do you want Weasley? Draco's not going to fuck you again. Hell if the gossip is correct you two were never ever together, must have been taking pity on your poor dirty ass." She laughed and her oddly pitched voice hurt my ears.

I stepped out of the way as the door swung open and Draco stepped in taking in the scene before him.

"Draco darling, there you are. I've missed you so, and as soon as you put the trash out we can have some fun." She made a lazy gesture towards me before sitting down on the bed.

"Ah yes I do believe the trash needs to go. Kristen, get out!" He walked over and threw her clothes at her.

"But, I'm your girlfriend."

"No, you're not. Not anymore. Now go." He half pushed her out of the room before shutting the door and running a hand through his hair. "Did she say anything mean to you?"

"Nothing I haven't heard before. Her insults aren't even original. I don't understand what you ever saw in her."

"Me neither" He waved his wand and the glamour spells faded away. "Oh, Gin, your face" He closed the gap between us and placing a gentle hand over where the bruise was.

"I know, my face probably looks gross now."

"No, Ginny you are beautiful. You always have been." The thing in his eyes had come back. And finally it had dawned on me what it was.

He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. My heart beat rapidly in my chest and I reached up placing my hand on the side of his face returning the kiss. Merci kicked happily and Draco jumped backing away from me.

"What was that?" He looked worried.

"Come here" I laughed gently grabbing his hand and placing on my stomach holding it there until Merci kicked.

"It's Merci kicking. She likes you."

"Merci?"

"That's right, I haven't told you yet. Charlie and Anna are naming her Merci Grace."

"It's beautiful Gin."

This time I started the kiss and he responded passionately. Maybe it was the hormones, or I was swept up in the moment. Whatever it was , I became brave and pulled his shirt off of him between kisses. We stumbled together to his bed and continued making out there. I realized a moment too late that him pulling off my shirt was a bad idea, but I desperately hoped he wouldn't notice as I began to undue his pants unwilling to break the kiss. At the same time he managed to remove the skirt I had been wearing and maneuver us so that we were both lying on our sides. As I reached for his boxers he pulled away from me grasping my arm gently.

"Ginny, are you…" He has noticed the skin he was holding onto wasn't smooth and looked down to see what was wrong with my arm. He gasped quietly pulling us both into a sitting position while he just stared at the scars and fresh cuts on my arms.

"Merlin Gin, what the fuck have you done to yourself?" He whispered. He wasn't angry. He sounded hurt more than anything. And I began to cry.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I pulled away from him and stood making to run to the bathroom. But he was faster and manage to stand blocking my path.

"No" He grabbed my arms pulling them up as if to show them to me. "You should have told me."

"I couldn't. It just makes me feel numb and sometimes if I don't have that I feel like I have nothing.

"You do have something Ginny. You will always have something to help you back on your feet and bear your pain with you."

"What do I have besides this?" I looked down at my arms.

"Me, Ginny, you have me"


	5. All Fall Down

Ch. 5 All Fall Down

a/n: I love my reviewers..and I wish I could be as brilliant as J.k Rowling..but I am not.

As April turned to May and the weather grew warmer, I spent most of my time out by the lake with Draco. The cuts on my arms had turned into barely there scars and so by the middle of the month I could wear sundresses.

"Bloody hell, I give up" I groaned after a good ten minutes or so of shifting around in the grass trying to get comfortable with no good results. I shut my potions book and dropped it on the ground next to my bag. "How am I supposed to pass my OWLS if every time I come out here to try and study; I can't get stay comfortable for more than five minutes."

Draco put his Transfiguration essay aside and pulled me towards him. I put my head on his chest, closed my eyes, and let the sound of the lake calm me down. I felt him move one of his arms and I knew he was waving his wand, having our books and things pack themselves into our bags. I smiled, softly into his chest.

"Let's go," He helped me up and kept an arm around my waste as we began the walk back towards the castle. The students hadn't acted one bit surprised when me and Draco started walking around holding hands again. But this time it was different. This time it was real. We were together and it felt nice. My nightmare no longer followed me to my dorm on the nights I slept there. Logan still walked me to class and Bickman still glared at me across rooms whenever he saw me. But things were getting better.

Before we made it to the castle we were joined by Pansy, Blaise, Azlyn, and Logan.

"Let me guess" Azlyn began "went to the lake to study?"

"Studied for maybe five minutes" Pansy continued.

"Became uncomfortable" Logan added "spent the next ten minutes or so trying to get comfortable"

"Gave up?" Blaise asked and they all laughed.

I rolled my eyes at them but smiled. This has become a common occurrence in the last week. We all walked together back to Draco's rooms and once inside I removed the charm hiding Merci from the world.

"I'm assuming there was a reason we ran into you lot on our way back here." Draco sat down on the floor in front of the chair I was sitting in.

"Yes, we've been hearing some rumors in the common room we think you two would want to know about" Blaise explained.

"What kind of rumors?" I couldn't quite see all of his face but I knew he glanced back at my growing stomach, afraid my secret was out.

"Voldemort rumors." Logan answered. Draco tensed in front of me and goose bumps ran up my spine.

"What are they saying?" I questioned place a hand over my stomach, as if that alone would keep Merci safe.

"We haven't gotten much. People know our allegiances aren't with Voldemort so if the notice we are listening, they shut up pretty quickly." Azlyn looked to Logan and he nodded for her to continue. "We've gotten just words of phrases. But that is enough to have us worried. It's been things like killing Dumbledore, getting death eaters into Hogwarts, a break out at Azkaban. From what I understand the first two have been assigned to a young new recruit here at Hogwarts."

"How credible do you think these rumors are?" Draco looked to all four of them and they shrugged in turn.

"It seems like an awfully big task for someone here at Hogwarts. Seems strange Voldemort would trust a new recruit at all with suck a big task. I would think he would be seeking something like this from one of the more trusted amongst his rank." Blaise answered him. "I think unless we here more information, we can't really say one way or another about them."

"Alright then, we'll leave it alone for now. But if anyone hears anything new or more credible then we'll take it to Severus. He'll know what to do." Draco decided and everyone nodded in agreement.

"So on a much happier note, what are we doing for your birthday Azlyn?" I smiled knowing Azlyn's birthday was on the thirtieth of May.

"Nothing big, please. I would really like it to just be the six and a half of us gathering in here."

"Fine but what do you want for your birthday then?" I laughed.

"Honestly, nothing. I'm not really in want of anything right now. I've got my best friends. I've had a pretty decent year so far."

"Are you sure?" I pressed.

"If I change my mind, you'll be the first to know, I promise." She rolled her eyes at me and put her head on Logan's chest.

That was the last we talked of the rumors until the day of Azlyn's birthday. I was fast asleep next to Draco when the door to the bedroom flew open and our four friends poured in waking us both.

"Gah, I know it's your birthday Azlyn but what are you lot doing?" I sat up and Draco followed before we noticed that the looks on their faces were not happy ones.

"What is it?" Draco was wide awake and we both tensed up.

Blaise tossed a copy of the Daily Prophet down on the bed and the headline confirmed our worst fears. In big letters it announced the mass break out of death eaters from Azkaban. Amongst the now free prisoners were Azlyn and Draco's fathers and Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Now do we go to Severus?" Pansy asked clearly afraid.

"This doesn't give us anything on the rumors about Hogwarts. It could be unconnected. And besides Severus knows about this by now I'm sure so it's not like we have anything concrete to add to it. This is bad news and I'm sorry we had to hear about it on your birthday Azlyn but we can't fall apart now. Until Potter kills Voldemort, leads us into an all-out battle, or Voldemort kills him; there just isn't much we can do." Draco ran a hand through his hair as he spoke.

"He's right; we can't do much right now. When I get a chance, I'll see if Ron, Harry, and Hermione know anything." I added. "But in the meantime, Happy Birthday Azlyn."

"Thank you, Gin." She sat down on the bed next to me hugging me close. Or as close as she could really get with my huge stomach in the way. 溺Merlin girl, how much longer until this little one is getting evicted?" She gestured at my stomach and laughed.

"About a month." I answered as she stood and joined the others at the foot of the bed. "Now I love you all dearly but can we have a minute or maybe twenty to get out of bed before you ambush us?"

They laughed and filed out leaving us to get out of bed. I stood and stretched while Draco came up behind me wrapping his arm around my stomach keeping both hands where he could feel Merci kicking. I felt his lips brush against my neck and goose bumps ran up my spine. I turned around to face him and placed my lips on his. The kiss quickly turned passionate and Draco's hand began traveling under my shirt. I broke the kiss and broke away from him.

"What's wrong? Is it Merci?" He took a step towards me clearly confused.

"No, I'm a whale Draco, a fucking whale. I refuse to let you see me without clothes on for the first time like this." Hot tears poured down my face and I sat down on the bed again. He sat down next to me and took my hands in his.

"You are beautiful, not a whale. And I have seen you without clothes before, but it's not a picture I ever try to think of." He frowned while speaking the last part and I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

"I'm sorry; I actually forgot that you have seen me naked." I looked up at him and he put kissed my forehead gently.

"Why don't we get dresses and go celebrate Azlyn's birthday like an all-out war isn't about to begin?" He smiled gently pulling me up so we were standing next to each other again.

"Alright" I wiped my tears away and pulled away from him, beginning to gather my clothes for the day.

After our little celebration for Azlyn was over, I made my way from Draco's room to the Gryffindor tower and found Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the common room.

"You want to know if we know anything about the Azkaban breakout." Harry guess before I even sat down. "We were going to ask you the same thing. But I'm guessing since you are here, they don't know anything either."

"No, they are scared. Azlyn and Draco now have death eater parents free and they aren't on the same side as their parents. So please give me something to work with here."

"I can tell you something. But I'm not so sure it's something you can share with your Slytherin friends." Harry whispered looking around making sure no one was listening in to the conversation.

I trust them. They may not be Dumbledore's biggest fans but they will fight with our side if it means the downfall of you know who." It was frustrating that while my Gryffindor friends tolerated and were nice to my Slytherin friends, they didn't trust them to actually be loyal to the Order.

"Alright fine, but please make sure this doesn't get out to anyone who is not trust worthy. Dumbledore is taking me with him to collect something the night of the forth. Something that could aid us in the destruction of Voldemort. Something we must destroy." Harry explained.

"What could aid in the destruction of Voldemort?"

"He made horcruxes." Hermione answered me. "He made six. Two of which have already been destroyed. The first was Tom Riddle's diary and the second was a ring that Dumbledore destroyed."

"Well this complicates things a bit" Draco sat next to me in bed as I explained what I had learned from Harry and Hermione.

"No kidding, unfortunately nothing they told me helps with the rumors we have been hearing." I sighed leaning back against his chest.

"I know, I have a really bad feeling that something terrible is about to happen." He put one hand on my stomach smiling when Merci kicked his hand. "Can we talk about something unrelated to Voldemort?"

"Alright, what's on your mind?"

"It's about Merci" He spoke slowly as if unsure of how I would react. "I was wondering if you ever think you want to keep her."

I shifted in the bed, turning so I could see his face.

"Yes, the thought has crossed my mind once or twice. But that is all it has done. She belongs to my brother and Anna. I could never do them the injustice of promising a child then ripping it away. Besides I can't raise her waiting for the day when she asks about her father. And also Merci is the name Charlie and Anna picked out for their child. It doesn't feel right to call her that if I'm going to keep her and also it is her name I wouldn't feel right to call her anything else. Draco, why do you want to talk about this?"

"I love her, Ginny. It's strange to love a child that isn't yours. I have no claim to her but I love her and I would do anything for her. If you truly in your heart believe that Charlie and Anna are best for her then I will not object; not that I really have any right to regardless. But I want you to know that I would claim her as my own if you made the decision to keep her. The whole world would believe that she was mine and yours and no one else. I have been thinking this over for a while. And I just wanted to make sure that your decision to give her to your brother wasn't based solely on the fact that you didn't want her to know that a monster was responsible for her creation." He kept one hand on the side of my face and the other on my stomach.

"I love her too, but she isn't mine. I am one hundred percent positive that Charlie and Anna are what is best for her." I felt the tears beginning to roll down my cheeks. "You are a wonderful man Draco Malfoy. I wish that we could have become close under different circumstances. I am completely sure that one day you will be a great father on your terms to your child. And I am so grateful for all you have done to help me."

I tucked myself in as close as possible to him and let him hold me while I cried and silently in our own heads we each imagined a different meeting and a different life.

The night of June fourth I curled into bed alone because Draco had prefect rounds and fell asleep rather quickly. It was too soon before I was being shaken awake.

"Ginny, get up!" Draco shook me gently but firmly. I sat up straight taking in the absolute fear in his eyes.

"What is it what's wrong?" I swung my feet over the edge standing to face him.

"Death eaters in the castle. I'll explain later but I need you to go to the Great Hall now. All the other students are going there." He waved his wand at me casting the glamor charm. He handed me my wand and pulled me from his room.

"Where are you going?" I asked knowing he had no plans of being in the great hall.

"To help, someone said something about them heading for the astronomy tower. I think that is where Potter and Dumbledore are. Just please go Ginny. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you or Merci"

Soon we joined the massive crowd of student heading for the Great Hall and Draco broke away heading up the stairs. Before I realized it someone else grabbed my arm and pulled me from the crowd. I looked up and realized it was Carter.

"I need your help." he began pulling me by the hand up the stair case.

"Where are we going?" I questioned, taking in the scared appearance on his face.

"The astronomy tower. I know that is where the death eaters are supposed to be heading. Regan took off when she heard Ron and Hermione talking about how that is where Harry is. She has a thing for him and I'm terrified she is going to get hurt or killed. I wouldn't ask you to do this but I know you have fought death eaters before and I trust you."

"I'll help you." He let go of my hand trusting that I wouldn't run back the other way. "I'm surprised that you would trust me after what happened."

"I knew all along, I think. It was easier to ignore when you two weren't speaking to each other, but once you started hanging out again, it became harder to ignore. I'm sorry I about what I said on the train."

"It's alright. I didn't even know it then that I loved him. But I did probably even then."

"Did you two really date before we dated?"

"No, he was just protecting me from someone."

"Travis Bickman?"

"How did you know that?" I slowed down to a walk as we reached the floor beneath the astronomy tower.

"He stared at you all the time the beginning of term. And after you and Malfoy started pretending to date his expression changed. It became really dark and creepy."

"I don't know it I should be flattered or creeper out that you paid that much attention to me back then."

"I had a huge crush on you for a long time, I just never managed to speak up until I thought telling you wouldn't matter because you were taken."

"I'm sorry Carter. If this year had gone differently then maybe we would have had a real fighting chance at something. But it didn't and I am truly happy with Draco."

"I know this really isn't the time for a heart to heart but since we are already in the middle of it, we might as well have this conversation. How bad could Bickman have really been if you needed Draco Malfoy to protect you and why Malfoy of all people. I want the truth Ginny. I think you owe me that."

"The truth is that Draco found me" I took a deep breath stopping to stand and face him. "After Bickman had already done something bad"

"What do you mean found you after Bickman did something? What on earth could he have possibly...?" I could see that his brain had finally worked it out. "I'm such an idiot. I mean I saw it. I saw that something was different the day you started pretending with Malfoy. But I ignored it. I just thought you were freaked out by how people would react. Merlin Ginny, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault Carter. You were nothing but good to me. And I just couldn't open up to you like I did with Draco. I was forced to let him in, but that was a good thing. I'm beginning to feel like me again and I have him to thank for that. Please don't tell anyone about this conversation. I'm okay now but it is not something I ever want getting out. Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

We started moving again and turned two more corners before stopping dead in our tracks. The figure facing away from us turned and looked straight at us.

"You" I whispered staring at the dark mark visible on the persons arm. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and neither could Carter. We were frozen to the spot and so neither of us reacted quickly enough when the person raised their wand and spoke.

"Avada Kedavra."


	6. Thunderstorm

Ch. 6 Thunderstorm

A/n: If you're an emotional person I highly recommend a box of tissues for this chapter and please don't hate me. This has been how I've planned it since I started this story almost a year ago.

My head throbbed as I lifted it from the cold stone and I looked around. Next to me on the ground was Carter and it took me a moment to remember what had just happened. It took me a bit longer to realize Carter was dead, his cold lifeless face just barely a foot from me. He was gone, but I was still alive. Why was I still alive? Then my brain caught up to me and I realized a terrible thing. Merci's almost constant movement had stopped. And I fell to pieces, knowing exactly what that meant.

I sat back against the wall, my pained sobs echoing off the wall around me for I don't really know how long before a familiar voice brought me back from my pain.

"Ginny?" Draco's voice sounded so surprised and worried.

"I, he, she" I couldn't say it out loud. I couldn't find the words. I felt him slide down the wall next to me and slip my hand into his.

"I know. I'm sorry about Carter. I know he was important to you." He had believed the sobs were for Carter.

"No, Draco." I placed his hand on my stomach knowing he would realize without me telling him. He spoke no words and stood quickly picking me up in his arms. I have no idea where we went from there or how he managed to get us to St. Mungo's. Or maybe I have just blocked it all out. The next thing I remember was being in a room, in a hospital gown with the healer talking to me in such a sad voice telling me exactly what I had already known.

"I'm sorry Miss Weasley, but your baby has no heartbeat. Because you are of such a young age, we can't simply remove her. You'll have to deliver naturally. A nurse will be in shortly to give you the potion to get things going. Is there anyone you would like us to contact? Your parents perhaps?"

"Yes" Draco spoke for me knowing I wouldn't. "Can you contact her family? All of them?"

"Yes, anyone I should contact for you Mr. Malfoy?" She thought Merci was his.

"No, no one for me. Just her family. She needs them."

The healer turned and left the room giving us some privacy. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Soon the nurse came in and I drank the disgusting gray potion she handed to me and we were left alone once again. I turned to face Draco and realized for the first time he was crying as well.

"I should have listened to you" I managed a sentence for the first time. "I should have told Carter, I couldn't help him and then she would be okay."

"This is not your fault." He placed both hands on my cheeks and looked me in the eyes. "You were doing the right thing. You couldn't have known this would be the end result. What happened anyway?"

Before I could answer him the door flew open and in poured my family. Mum, dad, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Anna, Fred, George, Ron, and Hermione all carried the same worried and surprised expression as the gathered together next to my hospital bed. Draco had taken to just holding my hand and looking down at the sheets unable to face my family.

"Oh, Ginny why didn't you tell us?" My mother was the first to speak throwing her arms around me. I squeezed Draco's hand and he looked at my face. I mouthed for him to tell them. I just couldn't.

"Why don't you all sit down?" he motioned to the many chairs around the room and they all followed his instruction. "How much am I telling them?" He whispered to me.

"Everything. Please just tell them everything." I shut my eyes beginning to feel uncomfortable and realizing the potion was beginning to take effect.

"In October, late one night I was doing my prefect rounds when I found Ginny. I'll spare you the details here but she was in bad shape. I tried convincing her to go to the hospital wing and she begged me not to. At a loss on what to do, I took her back to my room and healed her up the best I could. That was when our friendship began. I kept her close by at first because she didn't tell me who had hurt her. And after she did, my friends and I kept her with at least one of us at all times. About a month later, she started getting sick and once again I implored she see a healer but she wouldn't have it. That would be about the time the whole school believed us to break up and when she began to date..." He paused looking at me with sad eyes remembering the events of the night. "Carter. We didn't truly speak again until the train ride returning home for the holiday, when she explain she had made an appointment to see a doctor in London. I went with her to the appointment where she found out about the baby." He stopped speaking waiting for my family's response.

I looked around and stopped when I got to Anna. She was just staring at me like she was trying to figure something out but she didn't want to believe it. When she caught me looking at her she stood and came to stand next to the bed. She place one hand on my stomach and looked up at me. I nodded knowing that she had long ago figured out who the baby was. Her face crumbled and she started to sob. Charlie came to her side quickly looking confused.

"She's Merci. She's your baby. I'm so sorry Charlie." My tears that had stopped returned with a vengeance and Draco held my hand tighter. The rest of my family's faces fell more if that was even possible. There had been a small light when they believed that even though my baby had died Charlie and Anna were going to be parents soon. But now the truth was out, my baby was their baby. And there was no happy ending in sight for anyone. I shifted as the pain of real contractions started and did my best to keep my face even so no one would know. But Draco could tell. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze to let me know he was still there before he addressed my family again.

"I know that none of you have any reason to listen to me at all, but I think Ginny needs her rest now." He stood as he spoke making sure he was listened to.

"You're right" Bill stood as well pulling his fiancé up with him. "We should go find a waiting room. It's already been a long night and it will only be getting longer." He turned and led the family out of the room and no one spoke a single word.

"I'll be right back okay?" Draco let go of my hand and slipped out after them. Being alone made everything feel so much worse, I had for months always had the comfort of Merci moving around. But now it was gone, and she was gone. All the progress I had made since October was gone. I felt numb and broken again. I couldn't stand the stillness of the room so I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and went to stand by the window. I hadn't even realized that outside a thunderstorm was raging. I don't know how long I had been watching the flashes of light when Draco slipped back in the room. I turned towards him just as the first painful contraction hit. It took me by surprise and I stumbled almost falling. Draco rushed across the room catching me and leading me back to the bed. It was over as soon as it began and I looked up at him noticing that he seemed to know something that I didn't.

"What is it?" I questioned.

"It can wait Ginny. I don't think now is really the time for this discussion."

"Just tell me Draco. My night cannot possible get any worse than this."

"Dumbledore's dead. We should have taken those rumors seriously. They all came true." He sighed, sitting up on the bed next to me.

"Who killed him?"

"Bickman, I was there with Potter when he showed up. He was gloating about how he had killed you and Carter. I took off looking for you. Potter had his friends there and I didn't think he would ever manage to get to Dumbledore. A bunch of other death eaters showed up soon after I left and apparently it got a little hectic and then Dumbledore was dead and it was over. The death eaters took off with Bickman. Maybe if I had stayed…"

"It's not your fault. None of this is either of our faults. It is all Bickman's fault." We sat there together silently for a few minutes before I looked up at the clock.

"It's your birthday." It had been for almost an hour. "I would say happy birthday, but I doubt it will be a happy one."

"It's alright." He laced his fingers through mine and listened to the thunder outside.

"Ow" My hands went instinctively to my stomach and I cringed at the pain. Draco looked nervous, afraid of what to do. Soon enough I leaned back and took a deep breath. "That's what fifteen minutes apart or so?"

"Yes, about fifteen or so." I had never seen Draco so pale before. I was beginning to fear he would pass out.

"You don't have to stay for all of this, if you don't want to."

"I'm staying until you don't want me here. I can do this, I can. I will be here for the whole thing if you want me here."

"I do, I really don't want to be alone." I wiped the tears away that were beginning to spill over my eyelids.

"Then it's decided, I'm not going anywhere."

As time began to move forward and one hour turned to two, Draco never left my side. He held my hand as the contraction became stronger and closer together.

"Bloody hell, If I ever get my hands on that asshole; I will fucking kill him!

"I know, I'll help I promise. Just breath Ginny, you're doing so well" Draco still looked like he was going to pass out. If it wasn't for how sad the situation truly was and the pain I was in, I would have laughed at how a woman in labor could reduce the great Draco Malfoy to this. The contraction ended and I fell back on my pillows knowing I didn't have long before another began. Hot tears poured down my face and mixed with sweat. Outside the storm was still ranging and I knew the sun would be coming up soon. A new day beginning that I shouldn't have been alive to see, but I was and Merci was gone. She wasn't even born yet, but she was gone.

The Healer walked in and examined me quietly while I just tried to breath. Draco was stretching his hand out, probably trying to get some feeling back into it.

"Alright, Miss Weasley, it's time to start pushing on your next contraction." She called for her assistant and quickly they got everything together for me to deliver Merci.

Draco kissed my forehead and brushed his thumb across my cheek. "Till the very end" He whispered in my ear before once again taking my hand. The contraction came strong and hard and I put everything I had into pushing. And I did it again and again as contraction after contraction came.

Nearly an hour later, I was exhausted, as a contraction ended and I fell back against my pillows sobbing.

"I can't do this, Draco." I cried looking up at him. "I'm so tired and it hurts so badly."

"Yes you can. You have to, for Merci. You have come so far and it is just a little bit longer and it will all be over." I noticed for the first time that he was crying too. I knew he was referring to more than just labor being over. I just nodded my head as the next contraction hit hard and I pushed as hard as I could, screaming through the pain. Then it was gone and I held my breath waiting for the cry I knew would never come.

The room was completely silent as the assistant cleaned up Merci, wrapped her in a blanket and put her in my arms. Her lips were blue and lifeless and she was cold despite the blanket wrapped around her. Her head was covered in red hair and I brushed my thumb across her cheek my tears falling onto her blanket.

"Could you get my brother Charlie and his wife?" I asked the healer. She nodded silently and left the room with the assistant who told us she would give us out privacy and time to say goodbye.

"Do you want to hold her?" I didn't even wait for a reply before placing her in Draco's arms. He just sat back in his chair, silently sobbing while staring down at her. A few minutes passed in silence before a gentle knock at the door signaled that Charlie and Anna had come. I called for them to come in and they slowly made their way to the bed. Without any words, Draco stood, walked over to Anna and placed Merci in her arms.

"So beautiful, our little angel." She whispered, kissing Merci on the head. Her whole body shook with sobs as she passed her off to Charlie.

"I never got to know you. But I loved you from the moment we found out you were ours. And I'm glad you mother turned out to be my sister because she loves you too and I know she would have been the best aunt in the world for you." He spoke quietly and a small smile broke through on his face through the tears.

The next half an hour was filled with my family meeting and saying goodbye to Merci. Sometime during the night Blaise, Pansy, Azlyn, Logan, Harry, and Regan had joined the group and they were the last to visit with Ron and Hermione. Regan came straight to me and hugged me.

"It's not your fault. What happened to Carter is not your fault and I don't blame you for any of it. I am so sorry Ginny. If I hadn't gone looking for Harry…" She broke off when Harry came to stand beside her.

"It's not your fault either. It is all Bickman's fault. He killed Carter, Merci, and Dumbledore." Harry pulled her into his chest hugging her close.

"I know this is a random question" Ron looked down at the lifeless baby in my arms. "But um who is Merci's father. I'd love to know who I am murdering after I find Bickman and rip him limb from limb for killing her."

I started laughing hysterically and I was sure I had lost it. Everyone around me froze and looked around trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

"He is her father. Bickman is her father." I half laughed, half sobbed. Everyone stood around in silent shock for a few minutes.

"Now this year is beginning to make sense." Hermione whispered as she held tightly to Ron. No one answered her and the room felt eerily still. The storm that had raged all night had ended and there was an odd feeling clinging to the room.

Soon everyone left and Draco and I said our final goodbyes to Merci before the nurse took her away. And for hours Draco held me as I sobbed until I fell asleep from exhaustion. I had no dreams and when I woke the room was dark and quiet. Draco had fallen asleep holding me but I had no idea when. I managed to untangle myself from him and stand. I was wobbly on my feet and in more pain than I thought I would be but I managed to stumble my way to the bathroom and flipped the light switch on to look in the mirror. I almost didn't recognize myself and yet the girl staring back looked familiar. Pale and sickly and something else I couldn't quite place. I turned away unable to face my reflection any longer and turned on the shower. It wasn't until I was standing in the shower that I looked down at my stomach. It was flat and exactly as it was before I became pregnant. I pressed my palm against my stomach wishing that I had some reminder of the baby I had carried and lost. But that was magic. As soon as the child was born they could fix your stomach back to how it was supposed to be. I curled up sitting on the shower floor with no more tears to cry. The water was cold and I was shaking when Draco found me and shut the water off. He wrapped a towel around me and led me back into the hospital room and helped me get dressed in a pair of my sweat pants and one of his shirts. He helped me back into bed and joined me there once again holding me to his chest. I pressed my ear to his chest and began to drift off. But before I was completely asleep I head Draco whisper.

"One day you will be back here and you will cry tears of joy instead of tears of despair. And I promise I'll be right here by your side." He kissed the top of my head. "I love you"


	7. The Calm Before The Storm

Ch. 7 The Calm Before The Storm

a/n: I don't own Harry Potter. Also, thank you for all of the wonderful reviews for last chapter. I am thrilled no one has told me they hated the last chapter regardless of how sad it was. And in response to a reviews question of how long this story will be… the last chapter takes us to the winter following the end of the war and I have already planned out the sequel.

The train ride was the quietest one I had ever been on. Students in nearly all compartment were holding conversations no louder than a whisper and every once and again the far off sound of sobbing could be heard. I pressed my head against the cool glass of the window and listened to my friends talking around me.

"So Blaise, Pansy, Logan and I are going with my mum and Mrs. Malfoy to somewhere safe at least until school lets in again." Azlyn's voice was tired. Most of us had slept very little in the last week with all the funerals and arrangements being made to get the student home safely.

"And I'm staying with Ginny and her family at the burrow. I also believe Regan will be there as well and at some point during the summer Harry and Hermione will be joining us there." Draco had dropped his habit of speaking to people by using their last night. Now we were all so connected together so dependent on each other; it just seem silly to be so formal. "We can't contact each other in any way. So who knows when we will hear from each other again? Just keep your heads low and please take care of my mother. And hopefully when this is all over we will be together again."

Silence engulfed us again and I wrapped my arms around myself wishing I could wake up from this terrible nightmare I was living. For the first time, the war was real. People where dying. Innocent lives had been lost and broken. Draco inched closed to me wrapping an arm around my waist and I moved my head from the window to his chest. No one addressed me at all. They knew better. They knew I could give them no acknowledgment or words. I hadn't spoken to anyone at all since I was in the hospital and I never let anyone touch me at all except Draco. It was part of why he would be with my family instead of his mother. My family was so afraid that I couldn't protect myself. That I wouldn't protect myself and they were right. I didn't care if I lived or died. I should have died. Not her.

The train slowed to a stop in London and everyone said their sad goodbyes all fully aware that this very well could be the last time all of us were together and alive. Most of the students were like that. It was a harsh reality and most of the older students grasped it more than the younger ones. My father greeted us on the platform and without stopping to talk to anyone he led Ron, Regan, Draco, and I out of the train station to a ministry car that was waiting for us.

Back at the Burrow we piled into the living room with all of my brothers and listened intently as my father spoke.

"In one weeks' time, Hermione will arrive here. Two weeks after that we will be retrieving Harry. Going on that mission will be Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Bill, Fleur, Remus, Tonks, Mad-eye, Hagrid, Kingsley, someone whose identity I don't have yet, and myself. That's all I know for now about that. And a few weeks after that is Bill and Fleur's wedding. After that, well assuming the ministry hasn't fallen by that time, we will figure it out. Now everyone knows their sleeping arrangements, it's well after dark and we are all exhausted. Off to bed all of you." He waved his hand in the air as if dismissing us from the room.

I was sharing my room with Regan and soon would be sharing it with Hermione as well. After my shower I slipped into my bed without speaking a word to her. I stared up at the ceiling for a long time before my eye lids finally closed and I fell into a fitful sleep. I was still up before the sun the next morning and headed downstairs to get some water when I came across Anna in the kitchen. Her eyes were puffy and red and she looked as if she hadn't slept at all. Charlie was sitting in the chair next to her looking equally exhausted and I flattened myself against the wall to listen to their conversation without being undetected.

"It shouldn't hurt worse now that she's here but it does." Anna sobbed and Charlie held her hand looking torn about what she was saying. "Why didn't she just tell someone? She could have at least told us, we could have helped her. Maybe if more people had known then we never would have lost our baby."

"Anna, can we not do this?" He let her hand fall and I noticed her turned watching out the window as if trying to will the sun to rise.

"I know. You tell me, they tell me, everyone tells me to be supportive of her. That she couldn't have done anything that it is not her fault. But she could have Charlie. I get it, she's your sister, but that was our fucking baby and your sister's carelessness cost us our child. So screw it, I want to know I was her to tell me why the fuck she was so damn careless about the baby!"

"Careless? You think I was careless?" I stepped into the kitchen and they both jumped up from their seats clearly embarrassed that I had witnessed what Anna had said. "I did nothing but what I saw as being best for her. I fucking loved her. And trust me I am well aware that it is all my fault that if I had been a bit more careful that night, she would be here in your arms!" I could hear hurried footsteps upstairs and I knew the entire house had been woken by my rising voice.

"Ginny I.." Anna stammered.

"Don't, you can sit there and grieve for the child you never got go ahead. But don't think for a moment I'm not grieving her to. Just because you would have been her parents means absolutely fucking nothing. I felt her kick and flip. I heard her heart beat. I would give my life a thousand times over just so she could live. So please spare me the fake support you are so unwilling to give! And please go ahead and hate me. It's not like I don't hate myself every second of everyday that I am here and she is not."

"What on earth is going on here?" My father stood close behind me by the sound of his voice and I turned to see my family plus Draco and Regan staring at the three of us clearly only catching the end of what I had said. Anna had turned into Charlie's chest too afraid to speak again. Charlie was just staring at me with his mouth hanging open slightly. And I finally felt the pain I had been trying to keep numb and away. I crumpled almost crashing to the floor but Draco caught me helping me to stand again. And I just stood there shaking until he picked me up and carried me back to my room.

Later that night, my whole family was away at an order meeting and Draco and I were the only two people at home. I was exhausted which was strange, having spent most of the day in bed finally crying the tears I had been holding back. Stepping into the bathroom I began running hot water into the bath and pulling away my pajamas from the night before. I hadn't even bothered getting dressed. I had just slipped into the steaming water when Draco knocked softly on the door.

"Ginny may I come in?"

"Yes" The door creaked softly as he came inside and creaked again as he shut it behind him.

"Close your eyes." He commanded gently and I did as he asked without question. About a minute later he slipped into the water behind me. "Alright you can open them."

I leaned back against his chest and did as he asked once again. "Something terrible is coming, I know it." I whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. An outsider watching this scene probably would have thought it very sexual but it wasn't. There was nothing but love in his embrace and perhaps a bit of protection as well.

"Whatever it is, love, we will get through it. One day at a time. Together." He kissed the top of my head when he finished speaking and I tried to shake off the bad feeling I had but couldn't. We stayed in the water together until it was almost cold and Draco wrapped me in a big fluffy towel and walked with an arm around my waist all the way to my bed room. I sat down on the bed and began to brush my hair noticing how much longer it was getting. By the time October rolled around again it would be as long as it was the year before. Most people's hair never grows that fast but mine did.

"How come you always know the right thing to say?" I asked when he sat down next to me also wrapped in a towel from the waist down.

"I don't know. I just say what I am thinking. It can't always be the right thing. I'll get it wrong eventually." He smiled inching closer to where I was.

"I highly doubt that." I whispered closing my eyes and pressing my lips to his. Moments later the kiss had intensified and his hand was roaming down my back over my towel. I managed to knock him onto his back on the bed and I lingered over him my towel beginning to slide off as my heart began to race. I could feel his heart pounding as well when I placed one of my hands on his chest and I began to trail my fingers downwards. Right when my fingers reached the edge of the towel, he broke the kiss and grabbed my hand.

"No Ginny" He whispered and I backed away feeling rejected.

"You don't want me." My eyes began to water and I felt like running away.

"I want you Ginny. Trust me I want you very badly, but not here, not like this. I've been with other girls and I can't take that back. But you are innocent. You may not see it that way not after last year but I do. And I am not taking your innocents when I don't think that you are thinking clearly. I want this to be perfect and special and not in the middle of a war. When the war is over and you have healed, I promise you I will still want you as much as I do tonight and I will willingly do this." He stood from the bed and went over to my dresser pulling out pajamas for me and handing them to me. "I'll be right back. I'm going to put some clothes on."

I dressed quickly after he left the room and was staring out the window when he came back.

"They should be back soon." I stated not really knowing what I should say if anything at all.

"I know, and I don't care. I'm here for you. Always you and with that in mind, it is late, come lay down with me." He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I walked over and sat down and together we got comfortable as he curled up behind me a hand resting on my stomach out of habit.

"You know my parents aren't going to like this." I smiled enjoying the warmth coming from his chest. He was like my security blanket. I felt so at peace with him nearby.

"I don't think they will say anything about it. And I don't really care if they do." He whispered into my ear and kissed me softly sending a chill up my spine. "Now go to sleep"

He had been right about my parents. They did not mention Draco sleeping in my room at all the next day. And no one said a word when he did again for the rest of the week.

At the end of the week as expected, Hermione arrived and spent nearly all of her time with Ron and Regan. They spent nearly every day away at an order meeting while me and Draco stayed around the house reading, playing chess or just taking a walk outside.

The night before Bill and Fleur's wedding brought the arrival of Harry. Mum, Regan, Draco and I sat nervously in the kitchen with Charlie and Anna. I hadn't spoken to Anna since that first morning so being in the same room felt awkward and uncomfortable. It felt as though time had slowed almost to a stop when we heard someone break through the protection charm around the house and we all stood, moving outside together. In a few minute a tired and worn out Harry and Hagrid made their way into the clearing. Regan broke from our group first, running to throw her arms around Harry's neck. He wrapped his arms around her holding on tightly.

"We were ambushed Molly. They were on us as soon as we took off." Hagrid sighed and we all tensed. This was bad, really bad. And then it dawned on me that Harry and Hagrid weren't supposed to be the first ones back. Dad and Fred should have gotten here first as should have George and Lupin. The sound of someone apparating in caused us to all turn our heads as Lupin lead held tightly to a bloody George. Harry ran to help him and they shuffled inside followed by the majority of the group to survey the damage. Draco and I stayed behind and shared a look. He pulled me closer to him and we just stood there, being grateful that we were both alive and relatively fine. A moment later another pop signaled someone else arriving and we turned to see Hermione arriving with Kingsley. Harry and Lupin ran out of the house with Harry running immediately to Hermione relief written all across his face. Lupin and Kingsley raised their wands at each other.

"The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?" Kingsley asked eyeing Lupin suspiciously.

"Trust in Harry. He is our only hope." Lupin answered and they both dropped their wands. Another pop brought Ron and Tonks into the clearing. Tonks went to Lupin who wrapped his arms around her protectively. Ron didn't have to go anywhere; Hermione ran to him throwing her arms around him. In the next several seconds Dad, Fred, Bill, and Fleur appeared joining the large group in our yard.

"Where's George?" Dad questioned staring at Lupin who looked back towards the house. Dad and Fred ran inside and we all followed them. Draco and I made it in to hear Fred mention something about ear related humor and I smiled slightly.

"Mad eye's dead." Bill spoke somberly and all of the smiles in the room faded away. "Mundungus took one look at Voldemort and disapparated."

Draco pulled me away from the group quickly and we made our way back to my bedroom. I walked over to the window looking out at the stars and sighed.

"How many more people are going to die before this is over?" I wondered aloud. Draco stood behind me wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I wish I could tell you no one. But then it would probably be a lie. All I know is that as long as I am living I will be right here at your side, making sure you live to see the end of this war."

"Always the right thing" I laughed softly wrapping my arms over his and leaning my head back against his chest. "Have I told you that you are the perfect man?"

"Trust me, my love, I am nowhere near perfect." He kissed the top of my head. "I've done the wrong thing plenty of times."

"Maybe, but the past is the past and we can't change it now can we?"

"Well technically we could, with magic you know?" He spun me around slowly and I looked up at his trademark smirk. I pressed my lips to his and giggled a bit as I pulled away.

"Sometimes you are more of a know it all than Hermione." I laughed and his mouth fell open slightly in shock.

"Take that back, Ginny" He smiled and I shook my head breaking away and going to look for some pajamas. "Ginny" He warned again.

"What are you going to do if I won't?" I began undressing and changing into my pajamas laughing the entire time.

"Absolutely nothing" He sighed wrapping his arms around me again. "Now, tomorrow is bound to be an extremely long day so we should get some sleep." He kicked off his shows, changing quickly into a pair of black sweatpants and taking his shirt off. We fell together into bed, the strain of the night making us more tired than usual. As Draco began to sleep behind me I prayed silently that tomorrow would be a day full of joy and not sorrow but the feeling of imminent danger had crept back again. I tried to clear my head and listened intently to the deep breathing of Draco and let the calm his presence brought me wash over me. As long as he was by my side, I would be okay. I was getting stronger and while I still felt the gaping hole in my heart left by the death of Merci, I could fight through the pain. I had to so after our generation, no one would have to feel the pain we felt.

I rolled over, placing my head on Draco's chest. And in that moment, I knew I was right where I belonged.

"I love you, Draco."


	8. Wedding Bells

Ch. 8 Wedding Bells

a/n: I apologize in advance for my terrible grammar in this chapter and all of the chapters. I tend to think faster than I can type and miss many of my mistakes. Also, please be patient with me in the coming weeks as my husband is about to return from deployment so my mind is elsewhere.

The next day felt like a marathon. I was up early helping mum in the kitchen with the cooking and cleaning. I watched out the window as the men put the tent up and I smiled at Draco fitting in so well with my brothers. I was completely lost in thought when Hermione tapped me on the shoulder.

"Gin, can I speak to you for a moment?" She questioned but without waiting for an answer she looped her arm through mine and dragged me upstairs to my room where Regan was sitting on the floor packing her things into a bag.

"What's going on?" I motioned to Regan and sat down on the bed.

"I'm sure Ron has told you that we're not going back to school next year. Well we discussed it with Harry and he thinks you, Regan and Draco should go with us if the ministry falls before term starts again."

"But I can't go with you. I'm not even sixteen yet. I can't apparate and the ministry can trace my magic." It was strange to think that Hermione of all people had overlooked that fact.

"Yes you can, there is a loop hole in the law. Having a baby" She spoke sadly "lifts the trace. It is some ancient rule. The magic trace can't be put back on either. It has something to do with you being two people. Technically the trace broke when…" She trailed off unable to complete the sentence.

"When I was raped?" I took a deep breath unsure if I had ever spoken the word aloud. Memories began to flash in my head and chills ran up my back. But I ignored them and continued on. "I'm assuming you are telling me this so I can pack Draco's and my things?"

"Yes, pack the essentials only. We'll be traveling a lot in probably all kinds of weather and climates so make sure your clothes are practical." She instructed before slipping out of the room.

"Does Draco even know?" I asked Regan picking up Draco's bag from the floor and beginning to put some of my things in it as well.

"I believe Ron and Harry are telling him now." She answered trying to tie her bag shut. "I know it is dark but I hope we get to go with them. At least then I will feel like I am avenging Carter or something." I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke her brother's name out loud and the pain in my chest intensified for a moment.

"I know what you mean" I whispered, opening my dresser and pulling out the box where I kept Merci's ultrasound picture hidden. I made sure it was tucked away safely on top of all of our other things before closing my bag as well. We sat in silence for a few minutes before Draco appeared in the door way.

"The minister of magic is here. He wants to talk to Harry, Ron and Hermione about something."

"I wonder what "Regan looked completely puzzled and also slightly worried.

"No clue, you could always go down stairs and join them in the living room if you want to know." He made a vague gesture out of the room and Regan nodded her head, standing and almost running out of the room. Draco stepped inside shutting the door behind him and turning the lock. I gave him a confused look as he closed the distance between us and kissed me passionately.

"Harry and Ron spoke to you then?" I whispered when we pulled apart.

"Yes, and I actually prefer to be going with them. That way I can keep you with me all of the time and make sure you are safe." He held me close to his chest and I listened to the steady beat of his heart.

"I cannot wait until this is all over with. It will be so nice to not be afraid all the time." I stepped back and intertwined our hands.

"Me neither my love." His smile was small but it meant so much to me in that moment. And looking back I'm still not quite sure why. "We should start getting ready; the minister has probably already left so it is only a matter of minutes before our combined absence is noticed." He stepped backwards, unlocking the door with one hand while holding mine tightly with the other. He pulled me towards him, kissing me quickly on the lips before turning and slipping out of the room.

It only took me about twenty minutes to get completely ready for the wedding and when Draco returned to find me, I was standing in front of the mirror in my room. My hair was pinned up into and intricate bun thanks to Hermione. I pulled nervously at the hem of my black dress as I stared at the dark circles under my eyes and pale, sickly skin that was my own. I hadn't realized how much of a toll the last year had been. And the last month had done absolutely nothing to help it.

"You look stunning" Draco whispered as I turned to face him.

"I highly doubt that." I rolled my eyes, sitting on my bed and slipping on my flat shoes. "But you on the other hand, look absolutely amazing."

He laughed gently sitting down next to me and pulling me into his arms. Our moment lasted very briefly before I could hear my name being called from another room. I ventured into Bill's old bedroom to find Anna, Fleur, Hermione, Regan, and Fleur's sister all trying to get the Bride ready. Hermione was waving her wand and making Fleur's hair curl up. Regan was slipping shoes onto her feet while Anna was doing her makeup.

"Who called me?" I questioned shutting the door behind me.

"I did" Hermione answered. "What do you think?" She motioned to Fleur's now completely appearance as the Bride stood to face me. The intricate white gown looked as if it was handmade just for her. And the smile on her face gave us all a moment of peace and happiness amongst the destruction and war. Soon there was a soft knock on the door and Fleur's father stepped inside.

"It's time, girls why don't you all make your way down stairs. There is a group of gentleman who appear to be waiting for you." He smiled walking up to his two daughters.

We all wished Fleur good luck before slipping out of the room and making our way down the stairs. Hermione wrapped one hand around Ron's arm letting him lead her into the kitchen and out of the house. Regan and Harry kissed gently before following Ron and Hermione. For a moment Charlie, Draco, Anna and I all stood in silence.

"For the record Ginny, I am so sorry. I've been nothing but selfish and immature about everything." Anna turned to me. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness and I understand if you do not wish to give it to me but I had to express how deeply upset I am with myself about how I have handled her death." She winced and barely managed to say her and I knew that while our pain was different, we both were experiencing the loss of the same child.

"I do forgive you Anna. Life could get a bit tricky if I didn't since you are married to my brother and all." I laughed a little trying to lighten the tense atmosphere that had crept up on us before I took Draco's hand and we made our way to the tent where the wedding would be held. After we took our seats it wasn't long before the ceremony began.

Fleur looked so happy and so at peace as she glided down the aisle that the mood was contagious. And Bill held a smile brighter than I had ever seen on his face before. When the pair met at the end of the aisle I could hear the mothers of the couple starting to sniffle.

"We are gathered here today to join these two in the eternal bonds of marriage. To find true love is so rare and so special that when we come across it, we should hold tightly to it and never let it go. This is exactly what Bill and Fleur have done. They have found each other and are holding on together for the rest of their lives. Now, I must ask, if anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever shut your mouth." The whole audience laughed at bit at his unconventional wording but there were no words spoken and both Bill and Fleur smiled while sighing with relief.

"Bill, do you take Fleur to be your wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do"

"Fleur, do you take Bill to be your wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do"

"Now by the power given to me by the Ministry of Magic, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Everyone cheered as Bill and Fleur kissed passionately in front of the whole crowd.

"I now present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Bill Weasley." The happy couple made their way back into the house amongst the cheering and clapping of the happy crowd.

Soon after the party was in full swing, I was dancing with Draco and smiling happily.

"If I had known a wedding would cheer you up this much, I would have taken you to several already." He grinned down at me as he twirled me around.

"Who do you know that has recently gotten married?" I questioned.

"No one, but I could find a wedding for us to crash or something." He kissed me on the head as the song ended and we made our way to a table. I observed the other couples around us and let myself believe that there really could be a truly happy time amongst this war we were in. My delusion was shattered however, when Kingsley patronous came flying into the tent and stopped in the middle of the dance floor.

"The minister of magic is dead. The ministry has fallen. They are coming. They are coming." The voice stopped and everyone was frozen where they were. The pause lasted only seconds before death eaters started pouring into the reception. Some guest stood their ground and fought before fleeing and others immediately grabbed their loved ones and ran.

Draco grasped my hand and pulled me through the crows. We collided with Regan and Harry first. And as soon as Ron and Hermione joined us we were dissapperated by Hermione. As soon as we found an ally away from the busy street we appeared on, we all took a breath.

"First off, we need to get out of these clothes." Hermione gestured to the formal wear of the group before reaching into her bag and pulling out jeans and shirts for everyone. Once we were all changed, we slipped into a nearby coffee shop and sat down.

"All of our stuff was left at the burrow." Harry sighed but Hermione shook her head and motioned to the little bag she had pulled the clothes from.

"You are a genius Hermione." Regan admired, knowing that Hermione had packed all of our things into her bag.

"Well what do we do now? " Draco questioned sipping on the water that the waitress had placed in front of him. "If Voldemort has control of the ministry, is there anywhere safe for us to go?"

We all sat quietly for a moment, all wondering where we could possibly be safe now. The bell above the door chimed and two workers walked past our table. I paid them no mind until Harry yelled.

"Down!" We all dove behind tabled as the two death eaters rounded on us and a duel began. It took only moments to overpower them as we outnumbered them.

"How the bloody hell did they find us?" I questioned as I brushed broken glass out of my hair.

"I don't know; no one here still has the trace on them." Hermione walked around the counter as the waitress came out of the kitchen. "Leave, just go" She commanded and the waitress obeyed without hesitation.

"What do we do with them?" Ron nodded his head towards the two men as he stood behind Hermione.

"Wipe their memories." Harry answered over Regan's head as he looked her over to make sure she was alright. "And I know where we can go when you are done."

Ten minutes later, after we had erased the death eaters' memories and made sure no evidence of our encounter was left behind we made our way to Gimmauld place. It was strange to be sitting in the living room after so much time had passed.

"What now?" Regan asked surveying the dust covered surrounding of our temporary home.

"Now we sleep, then tomorrow, we start to make a plan." Hermione directed passing us all our personal bags so that we could clean up a bit.

Everyone started putting together make shift beds in that room as known of us really wanted to be separated after the day we had just encountered. I and Draco were the first to split off, making our way to the upstairs bathroom so that I could wash my face and we could brush our teeth. Instead of immediately making our way back to the group we sat down together at the top of the staircase.

"I'm beginning to wish my bad feelings would be wrong once and awhile." I whispered laying my head against his shoulder and yawning.

"Me too, but at least we are together. And together we can get through this." He wrapped an arm around me. "I hope our friends are alright. At least we were all prepared for the possibility of this happening."

"You mean at least Hermione was prepared for this happening." I looked up at him with a smirk just like his.

"Fine, at least Hermione was prepared for this to happen." He conceded and I smiled at his unwillingness to give Hermione a compliment.

"We should probably go downstairs and join the others." I stood and held his hand while he joined me. I went to start climbing down the stairs but he stopped me and looked at me with a serious expression.

"I love you Ginny. Today, tomorrow and forever."

"I love you too, Draco. Today, tomorrow and forever."


	9. Every Rose Has Its Thorns

**Ch.9 Every Rose Has Its Thorns**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A/n: I know. It has been forever since I uploaded. But I think I can have a pass because my husband came home from a deployment. After this though I will return to uploading every Sunday until the end of the story, I promise. Also I'm not found of this chapter. It is mostly filler connecting the last chapter and the one following.**

I am still not quite sure how Harry, Ron and Hermione managed to replace a fake horcrux with a real one by sneaking into the ministry. All I'm really sure of is it took almost two months of planning and Ron ended up getting splinched in the not so perfect escape plan.

The days were starting to blur together and none of us were quite sure what day or even month it was. My best guess puts us somewhere in October. But the uncertainty about the date was the least of our problems. We were each taking turns wearing the locket and it was making us fight with each other all the time. One night, Ron snapped. Hermione was on guard with Harry and we were all asleep until Rona fighting with Harry woke everyone up.

"You were supposed to have a plan!" Ron shouted and all of us scrambled out of our beds to watch him completely lose it. "And I see the way you look at her! Don't you have your own girl! "He gestured wildly to Hermione who looked on the verge of tears.

"Ron calm down and give me the locket" I commanded slowly sticking my hand out but he back away and turned his attention back to Harry.

"And do you have any idea what this is doing to Ginny's health!" He made another wild gesture in my direction.

"There is nothing wrong with my health Ronald!"

"Spare me, Ginny. You're so skinny that you have all but disappeared. Half the night, you are up coughing. Obviously you are sick and you should be home resting." I had never wanted to slap my brother more than I did in that moment. But I held my temper the best I could which only lasted about five seconds before I was yelling back.

"We are all skinny Ron. It's not exactly easy to come by feasts when you are on the run. And also maybe I have a cold but that is bound to happen with all the traveling in the different climates. And also home isn't exactly safe, or did you forget where we made our escape from. One of the probably now high ranking death eaters wants me dead, so I think if I am going to stay alive anywhere, then it is here with you all. Just take the damn locket off Ron and you will quit talking like this." I was sure at this point my face was as red as my hair. Draco wrapped his fingers around mine and I began to calm down.

"I don't need to take the locket off. I'm sick and tired of aimless wandering without a purpose. I'm done." He yanked the locket off throwing it at Harry before storming out of the tent. Hermione ran after him and we all stood around silently waiting. About five minutes later she returned without Ron and with tears pouring down her face.

"He's gone." She whispered before walking past us and crawling back into her bed, clearly not wanting to talk about it. We all stood around for a moment, completely bewildered by what had just happened before we all found our ways back to our beds.

The next morning was a somber one as we packed up our camp and went on our way again. In fact for the first week or two that Ron was gone; I could hear Hermione crying at night. My cold wasn't getting any better either, and even Draco was starting to look worried. But he kept his mouth shut, even sick, I was safer with them then I would have been any where else in the world. But we kept going aimlessly for awhile, and I was beginning to understand Ron's frustration. It was beginning to seem like we were just running around in circles with no real goal but finally when the chill of winter had already long ago set in Hermione and Harry made a solid decision. We were going to Godric's Hollow.

We apparated into the village like town under no invisibility cloak and no deception. Probably not the brightest idea if you are one of the most wanted people in the wizarding world but Harry wanted it to be like that so we followed his command and walked the streets as ourselves.

"Oh my, I think it is Christmas Eve." Regan exclaimed when we turned a corner near a church. Faintly we could hear the sound of carols being sung from within and we all smiled pausing for a moment before continuing on our way. Suddenly Harry stopped and we all automatically looked around afraid he had caught onto some threat that we had missed. But there were no hooded figures after us; there was no one at all.

"Harry what it is?" Hermione questioned still lost as to why we were just standing there.

"Do you reckon my parents are in there?" He raised one hand and motioned to the large graveyard next to the church.

"They might be" She responded, leading the way as we all followed her inside the old iron gates. We split up, all looking for Harry's last name on one of the many grave stones.

"I feel so bad for Hermione." I whispered to Draco when we were beyond the ear shot of the group. "I don't know what I would do if you just took off like that."

"Hermione and Ron are different than we are love. While they have obviously been madly in love with each other for a ridiculously long time, neither one has been able to truly get a grasp on that concept. And while they need each other, they also can function alone. Hermione is probably taking it better than Ron is. She can throw herself into the mission. "Draco kept an arm wrapped around my waist never letting my body be far enough away to miss his warmth. Off in the distance we noticed Hermione, Regan, and Harry all standing together at one gravesite and started making our way towards them. "You and I need each other to survive. It may not always be that way. But you are my heart and I need you to keep my blood from freezing. And I am your air; always surrounding you making sure that you can breathe." He kissed the top of my head and I smiled up at him as we stopped at the grave stone marked with the word Potter in giant letters.

I stood back with Draco and Hermione as Harry knelt down in front of his parents' graves with Regan at his side. When the stood, turning to face us, I realized that Regan was looking over my head at something.

"What is it?" I asked not wanting to turn around a draw attention to us.

"Some old lady is just standing in the street watching us." She whispered holding on to Harry tighter than she was before.

"That's Bathilda Bagshot." Harry smiled before walking straight towards her and following her as she turned to walk away.

"I have a bad feeling about this" Hermione sighed as we followed Harry.

"Don't say that, every time anyone of us says we have a bad feeling about something, we always end up in trouble or near death." I frowned as we stepped into an older looking house.

Harry followed the woman upstairs while Hermione looked around. Regan kept glancing nervously up towards the second floor and Draco and I stayed together with our fingers wrapped around our wands.

Everything turned to chaos rather quickly after that. Hermione opened a closet and screamed around the same time a loud crash was heard above us. Hermione turned running up the stairs first and followed closely by Regan, Draco, and I. Most of what happened next was lost amongst the chaos of spells flying. Somehow we managed to escape the giant snake that had slithered out of the skin of Bagshot and apparate to a snow covered forest.

"Well damn" Hermione sighed catching her breath as she fell into the snow. A gash on her face was dripping drops of red onto the white landscape.

Harry had his arms wrapped tightly around Regan who was sporting a nasty bruise on her cheek. Harry had blood dripping off one of his hands but I couldn't really make out where he was injured. I hadn't even realized that Draco was holding my hand until he let go and suddenly I was freezing despite my coat. He stood and began the enchantments to hide us.

"I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas" Hermione whispered when she finally stood and began setting up the tent.

"I know" I frowned, swallowing tears that were beginning to creep up on me. I had never spent a Christmas away from my family. And the last Christmas I had spent at home was when I have confirmed that I was pregnant with Merci. I swallowed again as a fresh wave of tears threatened to escape. I wouldn't fall apart now. There was too much at stake, too much to be done. "Who's on watch tonight?"

"I am" Harry spoke up, looking at me over Regan's head and for a moment it seemed as if he could see right through the fakeness of my strength but he didn't say a word.

"I'll stay with you, if that is alright." Regan looked up at him and he dropped his gaze from me to her and nodded. I was still watching the two of them when Draco stepped in front of me again.

"Come on, you'll freeze to death just sitting here in the snow." He held out his hand for me and I wrapped my fingers around his letting him lead me into the nice warm tent. "Breathe, darling. You are strong no matter how weak you feel at the moment. I know the look in your eyes."

"I'm fine. I just need a moment, that's all." I smiled weakly at him as he helped me out of my coat.

"Come lay with me for a little while." He wrapped an arm around my waist and led me towards his bed. I kicked off my boots and curled up with him enjoying the warmth of his body around mine. It had been too long since we had shared a bed. And I knew that if Harry walked in he would make me move. It was an unspoken rule that none of the girls would bunk with the boys despite relationship status. But Harry was outside and Hermione didn't even bother saying anything when she walked in and went into the bathroom to change. I fell asleep before she even came back out.

The next morning yelling made me fall out of bed.

"Hermione, Ginny, Draco" Harry's voice called from outside. Hermione jumped out of bed slipping her boots on and running outside. Draco and I followed after he helped me off the floor. I stopped dead in my tracks when I finally made it out of the tent.

"Ron?" I rubbed my eyes, sure that I must still be asleep.

"Ginny" He half smiled at me and it took all I had not to burst into tears right then. Instead I made my way over to him and promptly slapped him across the face.

"You ass! How dare you just abandon us? You are supposed to be my big brother and yet you ran away like a child!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry. Okay I am. I wanted to come back as soon as I left but I couldn't seem to find you all again." He took a step towards me and I felt the tears burn my frozen cheeks as they fell.

"How did you find us and that?" Hermione was pointing at the object in his hands that I recognized as the sword of Gryffindor.

"Well Harry found this" Ron lifted the sword up. "But I found you all with the deluminator. It led me back to where I found Harry taking a midnight swim trying to get the sword."

"Where exactly did you find the sword?" Draco asked raising an eyebrow at Ron's last statement.

"It was at the bottom of a frozen lake. A patronous led me to it and then I made the mistake of attempting to jump in with the horcrux still around my neck. So after nearly drowning Ron pulled me out of the water with the sword and we destroyed it. So that's one more down." He smiled weakly, perhaps trying to calm Hermione and Me who were both somewhere between pissed off and relieved to see Ron again.

"Well, now what?" Regan wrapped a blanket around Harry and handed another to Ron.

"I'm not really sure." Harry stated with his shrugging shoulders evident under the blanket.

"I have an idea." Hermione walked into the tent coming out a moment later with a book in her hands. She pointed at a symbol on one of the pages. "This keeps reappearing. It was in the book Rita Skeeter wrote. It's in the book Dumbledore left me. And I know one person who might know what it means."

"Well who is it, then?" I questioned.

"Luna's father was wearing it to the wedding around his neck. I think we should pay him a visit and see what it is about." She replied.

I had only been to Luna's home once in all the time we had known each other. It was exactly as I remembered it and yet it seemed to be lacking in something. I couldn't quite put my finger on what is was though. Mr. Lovegood looked less than thrilled to see us and definitely more nervous then I remembered him being. But he welcomed us in regardless.

As he explained to us the story of the Deathly Hallows, I noticed that he kept looking out the window as if extremely nervous about something that was about to happen.

"Mr. Lovegood, where is Luna?" I shifted in my seat. Something was definitely off here.

"She's um…she's" He looked out the window again and turned back to us.

"I think we should be going" Harry stated, obviously sensing what I was sensing.

"No! You can't go! They took her! They…all they want is you!" He snapped pointing at Harry. "I have to save her"

Suddenly the windows began to break and I realized we had been sold out.

"Go now!" Hermione yelled. We all grabbed on and suddenly we were gone.

"I can't believe he betrayed us." Ron looked angry as he gathered his breath.

"Do you blame him? He just wants Luna back." I argued. "It doesn't matter. We are safe now."

"Um, I don't think so" Regan sounded panicked and we all looked around. We were surrounded by snatchers.

"Run!" Draco exclaimed and we were off. They were fast though and we were outnumbered. One by one they grabbed us and dragged us together. I noticed when we together that Harry's face was all wrong and that probably Hermione had tried to make him unrecognizable.

One by one they asked us for our names and we all lied in turn. When they got to Harry, the leader examined him for a while and smirked.

"Boys, I think we may have caught Harry Potter!" He stated.

"Are you sure? Because if we are wrong, they will laugh us out of the ministry."

"We're not going to the Ministry. Let's go!"

The old stone house they brought us to was cold and terrifying. I felt Draco tense beside me and I turned to look at him.

"Do you know where we are?" I whispered as the leader dragged Harry to the front speaking with someone that I couldn't see at the gate.

"This is my home. We are at the Malfoy Manor. It's where you know who holds his meeting now." His eyes looked worried as we passed through the gate and up into the house. Once inside we were lined up and I could see that it was Bellatrix Lestrange who had met the group at the gate. On the other side of the room, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy stood together looking shocked and yet relieved to see their son alive.

"Oh Draco, I see you have switched sides on us" Bellatrix looked him up and down. "I heard you had betrayed us for some Weasley filth but I didn't believe it until now."

Draco clenched his teeth. He was well aware that speaking here could be dangerous for us. His mother took a step towards us though.

"Bellatrix we don't even know if that is Potter. Calling the dark lord without strong proof would be insane." She stepped next to her sister but didn't move any closer.

"Fine then, someone fetch Bickman" She called out.

And then several things happened at once. Draco grabbed me and pulled me behind him while my friends gathered in front of me. The snatchers began to panic at our sudden need to fight back and the one who had been holding the sword of Gryffindor dropped it on the floor.

"Where did you get that?" Bellatrix yelled at the snatcher walking over and grabbing him by the neck.

"It was in her bag" He pointed at Hermione with a trembling hand.

"Leave now!" She instructed and the all began to run away just as Bickman walked into the room. I kept my head down behind Draco so he would not be able to see that I was here.

"You called for me?" His voice made me tense and Draco slipped his hand into mine behind his back.

"Not anymore. Wormtail, take these children down to the dungeon." She grabbed Hermione by the arm pulling her away from us. "I'm going to have a little chat with this one."

Once we were in the dungeon Ron used his deluminator to give us some light and out from the shadows stepped Mr. Ollivander, Luna, and a goblin from Gringotts.

"Luna!" I broke away from Draco and embraced my friend. "It's good to see you alive and well."

"It's good to see you too. What happened to Harry's…" Before she could complete her sentence we heard Hermione screaming above us and we all froze cringing in our spots.

"Someone's coming" Regan stated and immediately Ron pitched us into darkness again.

"Come on Goblin!" Wormtail called from the doorway and the goblin followed him up the stairs and away again.

When the lights returned we all heard a small popping and suddenly Dobby was standing in front of us.

"Dobby?" Draco looked surprise to see one of his home's old house elves.

"Dobby has come to rescue Harry Potter and his friends"

"Dobby you can apparate in here?" Harry questioned.

"Of course, Dobby is an elf."

"Dobby can you take , Luna, Ginny, and Regan to…"

"Shell cottage" Ron finished for him. "Trust me"

"Yes I can, meet me at the top of the stairs in thirty seconds." And we were gone.

I was suddenly standing on a beach looking at the cottage where Bill and Fleur where suppose to be living after their wedding. Even though I knew this, I was still surprised when Bill and Fleur came running out of the house together. Fleur took the others inside while Bill wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"Oh Ginny, everyone was beginning to think that you had died." I could hear the tears in his voice and it took everything I had not to start crying right then.

"I missed you too, Bill" I whispered and we stayed like that until we heard another popping sound behind us and turned around.

Everyone was on the ground. Ron was holding Hermione in his arms and Bill made his way towards them. Harry was holding Dobby who was lifeless and bloody with Draco next to him.

"He's dead" Harry cried.

And I let the tears finally fall as Draco stood up and held me.


	10. Time To Go To War

**Ch.10 Time To Go To War**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

Two days after our arrival at Shell Cottage, Luna and Mr. Olivander were moved to somewhere else; a month later Harry, Ron, Hermione, Reagan and the goblin left as well. Draco and I decided to stay behind. The first night when we were there was so quiet that we could hear the ocean crashing into the beach while we ate dinner.

"Fleur and I are headed to an order meeting tonight in a secluded location. Will you two be alright on your own?" Bill asked with a worried expression on his face.

"We'll be fine Bill? We are safer here than anywhere else we have been in nearly a year." I assured him.

And just like that Draco and I were alone.

"I think I'm going to go take a shower." Why was I suddenly so nervous? Draco and I had been alone numerous times. This was no different.

"Alright" I could have sworn his voice sounded almost nervous as well.

It was nice having a shower that was longer than five minutes. With so many people in the house we had never gotten a shower more than that in the last month. I stepped out of the shower feeling much better and almost forgetting about my strange case of nerves. Then it dawned on me that all of my clothing was in the bedroom that Draco was probably waiting for me in and the nerves returned.

I was clutching my towel as tightly as possible as I stepped into the bedroom. Sure enough, Draco was sitting on the bed already wearing a pair of pajama pants and no shirt. It wasn't until I shut the door that he looked up and his mouth fell open slightly.

"I forgot my clothes in here." Instead of heading for the dresser I walked up to the bed and sat down. I could feel the heat in my cheeks. This was stupid; Draco had seen me in a towel before. He had probably seen me with less at some point.

He reached a hand out and cupped it around my face smiling.

"I'd forgotten just how beautiful you are when you blush." He whispered place his lips on mine. "I'd forgotten how wonderful it is to kiss you." His lips trailed down my neck and a small moan escaped my lips. "I'd forgotten how nice it was to touch you."

I barely had time to register anything before I was lying beneath him with my damp hair splayed across the pillows. "I believe, Draco Malfoy, that you are a bit overdressed for this." I was shocked at how brave I had suddenly become as my hand found the waistband of his pajamas. Before I could pull them down his hand stopped mine.

"Ginny" He pulled away a bit looking down at my face.

"No, you don't get to pull away now Draco. " I used me free hand to reach up and touch his face. "I love you. I want this. And tonight I'm going to get what I want"

His hand released mine and helped me to pull off all his clothing. "Now we are even" I whispered as he leaned down kissing me again.

"Not quite" He tugged the towel once pulling it off of me and tossing it to the floor. "Are you sure about this?" He looked into my eyes and I could see the worry in his.

"I'm ready."

Later that night we were awoken by footsteps running up the stairs. I sat up in bed wrapping the blanket around my naked body just before the door swung open and I was face to face with Bill.

"It's beginning. Harry and the other made it to Hogwarts. Tonight is the end. Are you two staying here or coming?" He was out of breath and luckily had yet to notice I was covered solely by the blanket.

"We're coming" Draco answered for me. "We'll be downstairs in just a moment."

As soon as the door closed, we were both out of bed getting dressed. I pulled my hair into a tight bun before we went to join Bill. Before I opened the door though Draco stopped me and pulled me to face him kissing me with as much passion as he could.

"No matter what happens tonight, I love you so much." He wrapped his arms around me giving me one last hug before we went out to face the end of the war.

Hogwarts was nothing like I remembered it at all. The once friendly and warm school was now cold and desolate. It sent chills up my spine to be returning. The fight had already begun when we entered the school and it wasn't long before we joined into the fight. We stood by Fred and George for awhile until a dark voice crept into our heads.

"I will give you one hour to send Harry Potter out to meet me in forbidden forest before I join the fight myself. Until that time my army will return to me. Collect your dead with dignity." I took a step back hitting a wall shaking away the chills that ran down my spine.

"What do we do?" Draco asked lowering his wand.

"We go to the Hospital wing. It's probably where everyone will be looking to see who survived." Fred answered. It had to be one of the very few times I had ever heard him serious in my entire life time.

Together the four of us managed to climb through the rubble and find our way to the hospital wing. The first think I noticed was Pansy and Blaise desperately trying to pull Azlyn off of someone. It took me a moment to realize she was clinging to the lifeless body of Logan and hot tears rolled down my cheeks seeing her in so much pain. A couple cots away from her was another body I recognized. Regan lay lifeless and alone and I knew Harry had yet to see her. Over in the corner my parents were hugging in turn all of my brothers except Ron who must still have been with Harry. As my mother looked them over for damage in turn my father spoke quietly with Tonks and Lupin.

I heard the doors open behind me and the room went silent. I turned around to see Harry, Ron and Hermione come through the doors and freeze. Hermione must have noticed Reagan first because her mouth dropped open a little and a sad sigh escaped her lips. Ron held onto her a little tighter and it seemed to me that something had finally made them confess how much they loved each other. Harry suddenly made a quick movement across the room a look of horror and pain frozen on his features.

"No, no, no" I heard him whisper and he held a hand on Regan's cold cheek. I turned away wanting to give him some privacy as I put my focus back on my family. While Draco went to speak with Blaise, Azlyn and Pansy; I went to hug my parents.

"Oh Ginny" My mother pulled me into a tight embrace. "I've missed you so much "I could hear the tears in her voice. The extreme relief that I was standing in front of her alive and for the most part well was almost overwhelming in her words.

After a moment I looked out the window over her shoulder and my heart almost stopped. Across the courtyard I could see Bickman in a classroom. He was looking right at me and as soon as he noticed that I was looking he winked. I mumbled some excuse to my family about finding a restroom before the fighting began again and I took off.

I walked into the classroom with my wand already in the air. Bickman was standing against one of the walls just casually twirling his wand in his fingers.

"Oh Red, how I've missed you" He smirked obviously checking me out. "You look like you've lost weight. Oh no wait I forgot you had a baby right?"

He hit a nerve and I lost it throwing a curse his way which he deflect and took a step closer.

"You bastard, it takes some real evil to kill their own child!" I kept my wand even with his eyes. But he didn't even flinch, he was actually grinning at me.

"Really how evil do you need to be to know someone's going to be raped but not tell them? To know and still act surprised when you come across their broken body. How evil do you have to be then Red?" He laughed.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He was just messing with me, he had to be.

"Oh that's right, Malfoy probably wasn't going to tell you that ever. You see my little puppet; Malfoy knew that the dark lord had put out a request for your rape. I mean how could he not; the big meeting about it took place in his house. He was there I saw him."

"I don't believe you." Draco would never have kept this from me, would he?

"As him yourself go on…" He nodded towards the door and lowered his wand.

"Why on earth would you lower your wand? Do you honestly think I am just going to leave you here armed?" Was he completely out of his mind?

"No not at all. Go away take me to the Ministry or the Order. They'll never find me guilty of anything." He smiled. "Here you can even have my wand" He held it out towards me.

"You are insane." I stared at his wand as if he had grown another arm. "There is no way you would be deemed innocent"

"Really? Because I believe my defense is rock solid." His creepy smile was making me extremely uncomfortable. Outside I heard a loud commotion but ignored it figuring the battle had started up again. I wondered how long I had been missing and if Draco was looking for me.

"What defense would that be?" He was baiting me. But I couldn't ignore it.

"See my little Red, I have all the evidence to claim that I was cursed by someone and forced to do all of this by him. He made me rape you. He made me kill Carter Temply. He made me kill my own child. He made me kill Dumbledore. He made me do it all." His fake sadness was grinding me. "And he will take the fall for all of it."

"Who is he?" My hand was shaking in anger. He couldn't get away with this. He wouldn't.

"Draco Malfoy" My heart stopped and I couldn't breathe. "Now Red, are you angry enough with him to let him sit in Azkaban his entire life" I was pissed at Draco especially if what he was telling me about Draco knowing before what happened to me happened. But Azkaban, could I let him go to Azkaban.

Bickman dropped his wand holding his hands in the air with an evil grin on his face. I shut my eyes and did the only thing I could do. "Avada Kedavra"

When I opened my eyes again, Bickman was lying dead on the ground. My whole body trembled at the thought of what I had just done. I willed my legs to move and I ran as fast as I could. It wasn't long before I turned a corner running into someone and knocking us both to the ground.

"Ginny!" Draco's voice stung and I felt tears well up in my eyes as I stood to look at him. "What happened are you alright?" He reached out towards me and I flinched stepping away.

"Bickman's dead"

"Did he hurt you? Love, what's going on? What happened?" He looked shocked and confused and I wanted so hard to believe what Bickman had told me was a lie.

"You knew before it happened didn't you?" I whispered praying I would get the answer I wanted and we could put this all in the past. But his face gave away the truth when he caught on to what I was asking.

"Ginny…" He took another step towards me and I backed away again.

"No" I cringed and the tears spilled down my cheeks. "Nearly two years I've stood next to you believing that you were good and loved me. But it was guilt. You just felt bad and it was all a lie" My mind races from the first smile to our first kiss to Merci's birth and forward to the night before as dawn had broken nearly an hour before.

"No Ginny, please listen to me." He reached out for me again and I pushed him away.

"No you listen to me. We are done. Leave me alone." I shoved past him and made my way to where I heard voices and walked into the Great Hall. My family was all standing together looking worried but as soon as the saw me, Ron broke from the group wrapping his arms around me.

"It's over Ginny. Voldemort's dead. It's over." He took a step back and looked at me. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Bickman's dead." I whispered and he looked confused at why I was so upset. "And Draco and I broke up." Saying it out loud hurt more than I thought it would. Bill had already walked up behind Ron and looked slightly angrier than Ron did.

"Ron, mind if me and Gin take a walk?" Bill asked wrapping and arm around me shoulder and leading me away after Ron nodded in approval.

"Does this have something to do with last night?" He questioned as we sat down on one of the only still intact benches outside. I looked up at him embarrassment written clearly on my face. "I'm not blind Gin."

"Please don't tell anyone. And no it's not about that. It's something else entirely that I'm not really sure I am ready to talk about just yet." I leaned against his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around me. Everywhere you looked people were looking at the damage to the school. Some were happily hugging their family in joy and other huddled together in tears. Regardless the whole scene was oddly still and now that the war was over it was time for the rest of our lives to begin.


	11. Darkest Before The Dawn

**Ch.11 Darkest Before The Dawn**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**A/n: In celebration of the fact that yesterday I wrote the final chapter of this story which brings it to a total of fifteen chapters, you all get and extra upload this week. Much love.-Remie**

The rain was pouring as I stepped on to the Hogwarts Express September first. I joined my brother, Hermione, and Harry in a compartment towards the back of the train. It was a bittersweet journey for most of the students returning to school. So many has been lost in the fight but the battle had been won and the world was safer now. Ron held Hermione's hand and they sat close together. And every now and again he eyes would fall to the simple diamond ring and she would smile. They were getting married the next summer, after Hermione had time to finish her training but before she began teaching the next fall. Most seventh year student from the year before had opted to return and spend half a year finishing their schooling before leaving for good at the holidays. I would be leaving with them as would a few others who shouldn't actually finish school until the summer. I had applied for and been accepted to The Healer's Academy and the term started in January.

I hadn't spoken to Draco since the final battle, when I walked away after finding out the truth. He had made several attempts to contact me through my family, friends and letters. But I felt betrayed. The entire two years we were together, I put everything into us. And he lied. I kept the letters unopened in the box with my photo album. The entire album was filled with pictures of me when I was pregnant and Merci's ultrasound picture. Azlyn had sent me all the pictures over the summer. I hadn't even noticed she had taken them but I was happy to have them.

As my friends conversed about the future and returning to school, I looked out the window at the pouring rain. Soon the dull ache of a headache that had come and gone for the last two weeks returned. I leaned my forehead on the cold glass and let their conversation fall away. It was a little while later when I heard the compartment door slide open.

"Can we join you all? Everywhere else is full between the first years and repeating students." I knew it was Azlyn without turning my head. And I had no doubt that Pansy, Blaise, and Draco were with her.

"Sure" Harry spoke kindly and I felt Hermione bump into me as she moved closer. I knew Harry had gotten up and joined us on the long seat while the others sat down on the other side.

"How have you been Azlyn?" Hermione asked. I could feel her shifting uncomfortably putting a little distance between herself and Ron.

"It's been a long summer. Not just because it was longer than usual. It was quieter than I'm use to." Her voice was sad and it made the pain in my head throb a little worse.

"I see you have been busy this summer though." Pansy stated and I knew she had spotted the engagement ring on Hermione's finger.

"Yes"

"Congratulations" And now the throbbing was pounding. My vision blurred and my stomach churned. I knew he was there but hearing his voice had been harder than I anticipated.

"Thank you" I heard the strain in Hermione's voice.

The train lurched, speeding up and my head slammed into the window. "Bloody hell" I raised a hand to my forehead hoping to dull some of the pain.

"Ginny are you alright?" Hermione has turned away from Ron and her eyes were focused solely on me. But mine were looking right past her. Draco was staring at me and his eyes locked on to mine while I stared back. Time was frozen and the pain in my chest temporarily gone as the ache in my chest returned. His eyes looked so sad and worried; it made me want to leap into his arms and cry. But I wouldn't. I let myself believe in him once and it came crashing down. I would not make the same mistake again. I broke the gaze first turning to Hermione and giving her the best small smile I could manage.

"Yes I'm fine" It was even and flat. I could see Draco cringing at the tone. He knew it well. He knew me well. Too well now.

I turned back towards the window and focused solely on the rain again. It seemed like forever before the train finally came to a halt and we all shuffled out to return to our rebuilt school for the first time. The feast moved by in a blur for me and I barely made not of the sorting or of the speech of Professor McGonagall who was now the headmistress. It was almost nice to be returning. At least here I could be practically invisible, no one to bother me all the time.

Nearly a week went by before things took a turn for the worst. It wall well after midnight when I found myself unable to sleep. Fed up with just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and stood. I didn't bother to put on slipped or a robe over my shorts and tank top as I slipped out of the Gryffindor dorms. I wandered around not really paying attention to where I was going until I heard a voice behind me.

"You seem troubled Gin" I fought the urge to scream as I spun around and stood face to face with Carter again. Except now he was a ghost. "No one told you then. I can see I must have frightened you terribly. I'm sorry. "

"No, I wasn't told by anyone that you were here." The hole in my chest was aching again. It was so easy to be numb when I was alone or floating through my days.

"At least now I know why you haven't come to see me since school was in." He looked me up and down making me feel self conscience as I crossed my arms across my chest. "Most people put slippers on or a robe when they go for a midnight stroll. Were you sleep walking?"

"No, I just didn't see the point. " I took a step back and leaned against the wall.

"I believe the point would be that you don't catch a cold or attract unwanted attention." _Throb, Ache, Throb...Damn fool what does he know? _ I sucked in a deep breath trying not to panic. I was clearly losing my mind as the insulting voice in my head was definitely not mine. I rubbed my head and looked away from Carter but he had already realized his mistake.

"Damn. Ginny I'm sorry. I've been this way for awhile and sometimes it's hard remembering things." He reached a hand out towards me then dropped it remembering that we could not actually touch each other.

"Been that way? Carter it's not a way. You died. It's not like we are going to wake up tomorrow and you'll be right as rain again!" I was suddenly angry and it wasn't something I was use to. I had been holding it in for weeks…ever since… _Burn…_ No I wouldn't fall apart here. "I'm sorry, I should go." I turned and ran knowing he wouldn't follow. When I was far enough away I stopped and slid down to the floor leaning against the wall. The ache began to burn again and I felt as if I was on fire. I took a few deep breaths willing it to leave me alone.

"No students should be out of bed at this…Ginny?" Of course it was Draco who would find me here in the middle of me losing it. He crouched on the floor in front of me reaching out a hand to help me up. I shoved it away standing on my own. "Are you alright?" The burn intensified. No, he wouldn't hurt me again. _He betrayed you. You are nothing to him. _I was insane. I was sure of it.

I turned and walked away without saying anything. _Maybe he should burn too._

"Leave me alone" It was bad enough. I didn't need to be hearing voices now too. I needed to sleep. I was just tired. As soon as I was well rested it would leave me alone.

I was wrong. The voice never left it was always there saying how everyone should burn too. How they were all responsible. They made me like this. For two weeks it throbbed in my head making me believe I was losing my mind. Then one night it just disappeared. I woke the next morning to find another girl staring at me looking horrified.

"What!" I snapped and she jumped back away from my bed.

"Your hair and your face…" She whispered handing me a little mirror from the stand between our beds. I took it and stared at my reflection. My red hair was blue and my face was marked by what looked like cuts in an almost intricate and beautiful pattern.

"Please don't tell anyone about this." I handed the girl whose name I could not remember her mirror and jumped out of bed. Once I was dressed I pulled my hair into a tight bun and went into the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror again the cuts that had been bright red only minutes before were now the same shade blue as my hair, "Well this isn't good." I muttered to myself as I went about putting on makeup to cover it. Before slipping out of the dorm I pulled on a sweatshirt with a hood and pulled the hood over my head covering my hair.

I spent most of the day searching the library for some clue as to what was happening to me but had absolutely no luck. I did manage to thankfully find some charms I could use to keep the blue hair hidden.

The charms worked rather well and no one seemed to notice that I was walking around with blue hair. The voice returned a few days after the hair and symbols appeared. Hermione found me pouring over books in the library during lunch and she sat down across from me.

"I'm worried about you" She whispered and I glance up at her giving her an annoyed look. "Have you spoken to Draco about what happened this summer?" _Stupid bitch does it look like we want to talk to you. _We? Since when were the voice and I we?

"No, Hermione. I thought you promised you wouldn't mention this?" We were not having this discussion. I closed the book I was ready and stood. "Leave it alone Hermione."

"But Ginny maybe if the two of you talked you could work things out. He really misses you." _What part of we don't want to talk to her doesn't she understand. _

"No, leave me alone." I slammed the book back on the shelf earning a disapproving look from the librarian before storming out of the library. _Burn…Ache…Throb. _I quickly made my way out onto the grounds and slid down near my favorite tree just watching the lake. I had no idea how long I had been sitting there when rain began pouring. By the time I entered the castle again I was soaked. And as my luck usually went I ran straight into Draco except this time he was with Pansy, Azlyn, and Blaise.

"Been swimming in the lake Gin?" Azlyn laughed. _She's mocking us. Stupid fool. _

"It's raining." I was not giving into the voice again.

"That definitely makes more sense." Pansy rolled her eyes at Azlyn.

"How have you been Ginny?" Blaise questioned. _It's none of your damn business. That is how we have been. _ My face began to burn and I fought the urge to cry out in pain.

"I have to go" I didn't wait for a response or look at their faces as I just ran away.

On the last day of September the voice changed. It was no longer some voice I didn't recognize. It was mine. The only thing that made it separate from me was the face it always said "we" as if the voice and I were united but two different people. As the days went by the voice seemed to become angrier and angrier always spreading anger through me like wildfire. And then again in mid October the symbols spread again down my neck. I found myself sleeping less and less each night, so I began wandering the grounds at night expertly avoiding the prefects and professors. I was not so good at avoiding ghosts it seemed though as I managed to once again end up face to face with Carter in the middle of the night.

"Now you look ill. I see you just can't take care of yourself now that I'm not around." He smiled going around me in circles. "Something's off about you."

"Well, thanks Carter. You don't look to well either; perhaps because you're dead." I was no longer in the mood to play nice with anyone.

"What is going on Ginny? The walls have ears and people are talking about you. How you've been distant and cold. Not like you should be at all." He looked worried and I felt almost bad for speaking to him harshly.

"If I tell you then you have to promise you won't tell anyone at all." I looked at him hoping I could stay in control long enough to confide in him.

"Yes, because so many people want to have a nice in depth discussion with a ghost. I make the other students feel awkward. Nobody want to speak with me because I didn't die all that long ago And also people are not always sure that tell me they are sorry that Regan died is the right thing because well let's face it, she died after me." He ranted and now I really felt bad. Then the burn began to spread but tonight I fought it.

"I woke up a few weeks ago with these symbols on my face." I waved my wand uncovering the marks on my face and neck.

"That is probably not a good sign." He studied me carefully. "I've seen these symbols somewhere but I just can't remember where."

"Well they burn and now they are spreading and I think I might be going insane." I sighed, sitting down on floor with my back pressed against the wall.

"Just because you are covered in strange symbols and your skin is burning does not necessarily mean you are going insane."

"That's not all. I've been hearing this voice." I wasn't going to admit that the voice had someone become mine and all of the anger coming with it.

"That is a sign of insanity. Have you told anyone?" He carried a worried expression.

"I've told you." I was skirting the issue and he knew it.

"I don't count. As you have so gracefully pointed out to me, I am dead." He sighed.

"I'm not ready to admit to the world that I am losing it okay? Everybody already watches me like I'm some fragile doll and will fall to pieces at any moment. I just need some time to work this out on my own." I explained hoping he would just leave it alone for now.

"I will keep your secret for now Ginny. It is the least I can do for you." He looked sad but I didn't press about why he seemed to think he owed me for something. I replaced the charm that covered the symbols before turning and heading back to Gryffindor tower.

"Eventually you are going to have to talk to me." Draco's voice stopped me in my tracks as I climbed the last stair case back to my house. I turned around to see him a few steps behind me. _Stupid fool, what gives him the right to decide who we talk to?_ As if this wasn't a big enough problem on my own; the voice just had to chime in with its opinion as well.

"Are you stalking me?" I just wanted him to get away quickly so I could be on my way.

"I'm the head boy, Ginny. And I'm doing patrol. This is the second time this year I have caught you out of bed after hours. You could at least talk to me since I'm not giving you detention." _You're not doing us some favor. He's just trying to black mail us into talking to him._ My head was on fire and I felt compelled to slap him but I resisted.

"Just leave me alone!" I snapped at the voice in my head while holding my forehead in pain.

"Ginny? Are you alright?" He took a step towards me, a worried look on his face.

"I'm fine, just … I have to go" I felt as if I was completely on fire. I wasn't waiting around for Draco to rescue me again so I bolted as fast as I could back to my dorm room. Once I made it I went into the bathroom looking in the mirror at how terrible I was starting to look. My resolve was starting to waiver as I wiped away the tears that were beginning to fall. Maybe it was time I spoke to Draco. I missed him. And it hurt.

But over the next two weeks, I never found the perfect time and so the Hogsmeade weekend arrived on Halloween with me still not finding my strength to face him. The voice had slowly grown in intensity and I almost decided to stay in bed but I figured that perhaps I would get a chance to speak with Draco. I spent nearly an hour wandering around town looking for him. Instead of him I manage to walk straight into Kristen Carver.

"Watch where you're going Weasley?" She snapped giving me a nasty glare. I was not in the mood for this today. _Stupid bitch! _

"Why don't you keep your mouth shut Carver? I'm sure no one wants to hear the incessant squawking that is your voice!" That was definitely not what I meant to say.

"Excuse me, but I don't think trash like you gets an opinion little Weasley." _ Not a good idea bitch! _

"Trash? Is that the best you've got Carver? At least I haven't slept with half the school you diseased whore!" I suddenly wasn't feeling very well. And that probably should have been my cue to walk away. But I couldn't, no matter how many times I willed my legs to move they wouldn't.

"You stupid…" She slapped me. I didn't even recoil. I wanted to move, to run, to do anything but what I actually did. I attacked her. No wands no magic. We were just going at each other until suddenly we were pulled apart and I was being held in place by someone.

"Leave Carver! Now!" It was Draco who was holding me then. Of course it was.

"But … she started it." She whined pathetically and I realized it was Blaise holding her back. I also noticed that Ron, Hermione, and Harry were standing off to the side with Pansy and Azlyn. All of them wore identical looks of shock on their faces.

"It doesn't matter who started it. Unless you want to be expelled for fighting which you both will if we report it to McGonagall, then it never happened. "Hermione explained and Carver shot her a dirty look before walking off. "This is enough Ginny, what the hell is going on?" Hermione demanded turning to face me.

"Nothing, she deserved it." I fought Draco's restraint but he held on tightly. "Let me go!"

"No, Ginny. Hermione is right. This isn't like you. We just want to help." His voice sounded so concerned so full of worry. And I began to cave. I needed to talk to him.

_No they are all just ganging up on us! _ I cringed and suddenly the world was spinning.

"What's wrong with your eyes Gin?" Azlyn was panicking. I had no idea was she was talking about. I felt so strange all of a sudden and I felt myself being turned around. The last thing I remember before the world going completely black was Draco's eyes looking at me.


	12. Set Fire To The Rain

**Ch.12 Set Fire To The Rain**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

The first thing I realized upon waking was that I was definitely not in my dorm room. It took me a few minutes before my mind finally made the connection and I realized I was in the hospital wing. The dark and silence told me that it must be sometime during the night. I slowly sat up and realized I must have been drugged because the whole world felt oddly tilted. There was no way I was staying there any loner regardless of what was wrong with me, so I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood. My legs felt like jelly underneath me and I nearly fell. I caught myself and managed to began walking vaguely wondering how long I had been asleep and trying to piece together anything that may have happened between the fight with Kristen and when I woke up.

I began walking aimlessly, still dizzy and feeling like I was on fire.

"I thought you were in the hospital wing?" Carter, of course. It was as if he had a Ginny seeking radar.

"How long have I been in the hospital wing?" I spun around to face him but had to grab the wall to steady myself. "What is wrong with me?"

"I heard through the chatter vine as I like to call the people who talk around me assuming that I can't hear them I guess, that you've been out since Halloween. Today's November 10" He was looking me at me as if studying me. "They were right about your eyes. That is so strange."

I had no idea what he was talking about so I turned to look at my reflection in a window. My eyes that were supposed to be a nice shade of gold were now an ice blue. It sent chills down my spine. But at least the rest of me looked normal. I guessed my charms had held while I was comatose. Suddenly I could hear footsteps coming closer and I turned, planning to run but couldn't. My legs gave way and I fell.

"Damn" I muttered as the footsteps came to a stop next to me.

"Ginny?" This was now ridiculous. How was he always wherever I was when I least wanted to see him. I turned my head looking up at him from where I was lying on the ground. He reached out towards me, lifting me up into his arms with ease. "How long has she been like this?" His question was directed at Carter who looked alarmed by the whole situation.

"She just fell when she heard you coming. She's only been here about five minutes probably less. My sense of time is not so great, being a ghost and all."

"Thank you Carter. I think I am just going to take her back to my room." He turned and began to walk in the direction of the head boy's room.

"Take care of her Draco. I wish I could." Carter replied and I could feel the sadness coating his voice.

"Put me down!" I fought against Draco as hard as I could but it must not have much because it didn't even faze him.

"No, whatever this is. Tonight it ends Ginerva Weasley. I'm sick of watching from a distance while you slowly fall apart." He sounded angry and frustrated at the same time. It was then I realized that whatever potion I had been given was keeping me numb. I felt the fire but the voice was muted. For the first time in months, there was silence in my head. And rather than fighting with Draco, I closed my eyes enjoying the peace. And I stayed that way until I felt myself being place on a bed that I assumed was Draco's.

"Why here and not back to the hospital wing?" I questioned, sitting up and leaning against the pillows. He sat down by my feet staring at me intently.

"Because, we need to talk. We should have talked the day after the battle. I should have chased you down. I should have made you understand how much I love you. I should have said so many things but you looked so hurt and so angry that I lost my nerve. I spent most of the summer trying to convince myself you would be better off without me. I assumed that I would come back to school and you would be healthy and happy and move on. But I was wrong from what Hermione …."

"What did Hermione tell you?" I sat up straight, and my vision blurred on the edges. Draco looked shocked by my question.

"What is it that you are so afraid Hermione told me?" He leaned towards me and I scooted back towards the pillows getting as far from him as possible.

"Nothing..." I stammered looking down at the pillows. I wasn't having this conversation with him now. Not when I felt so terrible.

"Ginny I know there is more going on besides just your eyes." He lifted his wand and pointed it at me. I jumped out of the bed backing up against the wall.

"Stop!" But he had already removed my charms. He had stood from and stepped towards me. But now he was frozen in place. I could feel the tears in my eyes as he stared at me.

"Oh Ginny" He sighed and placed his wand on the bedside table. "What is happening to you?"

"I'm losing my mind." I whispered.

"No you're not" He took another step in my direction and I felt myself beginning to shake. I wasn't sure if it was from my fever or the fear of going insane but Draco quickly closed the gap between us. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I leaned against his chest.

"Yes I am. I'm hearing voices. And I'm always so angry at everything. And look at me." I cried.

"Actually, I think you may be cursed. I've seen the symbols somewhere before." He whispered into my hair. "We'll figure this out, love. You are going to be okay. We just have to find out what it is and get rid of it then you'll be just you again. And everything will go back to normal."

"It's not that simple." I pulled away from him and he wiped a tear off of my face.

"I thought you were safe in your dorm that night." He whispered keeping his hand on my face.

"What night? What are you talking about?" I was confused.

"The night Travis Bickman raped you. I watched you go into Gryffindor tower and made the assumption that you would stay there. It was so close to curfew." He backed up and sat down on the bed staring up at me with tears in his eyes.

"You were watching me?"

"If I had walked up to you and told you that Voldemort had requested a death eater rape you at the beginning of that year what you have thought?"

"Back then, I would have assumed you were threatening me." My mind was finally clearing of the fog and the fire began to burn strong again.

"Exactly, I watched you consistently every single day until you went into your dorm at night. I never expected you to come back out after curfew. And that mistake in judgment was my downfall." The tears were openly running down his face at this point. And all I could do was stand there and let the burn consume me.

"He played me. Bickman knew you were watching me. He knew but he just told me enough to make you out to be the bad guy." _Poor little Ginny…abandoning the boy who could have saved her all the pain. _"Get out of my head!" I slid down the wall with my hands over my ears. In an instant Draco was on the floor in front of me and my arms were burning. I knew that the symbols had spread. I just wanted it all to stop.

"Breathe Gin. I'm here. I'm right here." He held me close to his chest as I sobbed and burned. "It's okay now. It's all okay."

"No…it will never be okay. It's entirely my fault." I was choking on my sobs now. "I killed him and our baby and it'll never be okay."

"Ginny, you had to kill Bickman. He attacked you. And you know Merci's death wasn't your fault." He brushed my hair out of my face and forced me to look him in the eyes. "You feel like you're burning up and you're not really making much sense."

"I don't, I lied, I…I'm so sorry" I couldn't even find the right words.

"You've been asleep for days Gin. Maybe you'll feel better after a shower. It might help bring your fever down too." He lifted me into his arms and carried me into his bathroom. It was bigger than the one he had the last year we were here but so was his bedroom. It was one of the perks of being head boy I guess and I figured Hermione's room was probably the same size. "I'll wait in the bedroom" He sat me down on the cold tiled floor and went to leave the room.

"Don't leave me" I whispered and he spun coming back to me in an instant. I couldn't look him in the eyes so I stared at the floor. It took me a minute to realize that there was blood dripping off my arms. I lifted them in front of me and realized the symbols were bleeding. I let Draco undress me in silence and waited while he turned the shower on. I gathered the courage to look at my reflection. I had never expected myself to look any worse than I had after Merci's death. And yet there I was. My skin was pale and sickly looking. Scars crisscrossed in various places. Some were from my first run in with Bickman two years before. Some were from the time I spent cutting while trying to deal with that year. And some were more recently from the last battle of the war. Sadly they were the only things I recognized of myself. My hair was the same ice blue as my eyes and the symbols ran from my face down my arms. I was much skinnier than I remembered being which made me wonder when the last time I had actually eaten a full meal.

"Now do you see why we are all so worried about you?" Draco walked up behind me. I hadn't even noticed that he must have stripped off his clothing while I was examining myself. Now all he was wearing were his boxers.

I didn't answer him. Instead I just let him lead me into the shower. The hot water stung my arms but it felt nice after being asleep for so long. By the time I felt clean, the water was running cold and I was beginning to shiver. Draco shut the water off and handed me a towel while he grabbed his own.

"I feel like we have done this before. And I'm not a huge fan of it." He muttered as he opened up a cabinet and began rummaging for something. "Go ahead into the bedroom. I'll be there in a minute and find you something to wear."

When I walked into the room I noticed something that had escaped my attention before. Sitting on the stand next to his bed, Draco kept a picture in a frame. It was a picture of us from when I was pregnant with Merci. Draco and were standing together and I was smiling at him as he bent down to talk to my baby bump. I hadn't even realized I was crying until Draco came back in the room and I turned to face him.

"I'll put it away. I'm sorry Ginny." He dropped what looked like bandages onto the bed and reached for the picture. I stopped him and picked it up myself.

"I have a whole album that Azlyn sent me full of pictures like this." I whispered sitting down on the bed.

"She gave me that this summer. She figured I would want it." He took one of my arms and began wrapping bandages over the symbols that were still bleeding though not as much.

"That's what she said about the album." It was one of the first times I let the ache in my chest take over instead of the burn. And for a moment, just a moment I felt free. And the freedom was exhausting. I yawn placing the picture backed where it belonged while Draco wrapped my other arm. "I've been asleep for days and yet I'm so tired now."

"Just a moment" He reached into one of the drawers in his dresser and pulled out a shirt I had slept in before. He pulled it over my head for me and replaced the charms that made me look like me again. "I can't do anything for your eyes. Too many people have already seen them"

When I put my head down on the pillows, I was asleep almost instantly.

"Are you sure we shouldn't take her back to the hospital wing?" Hermione's voice was the first I heard when I woke. I kept my eyes shut, still unsure of just how many people were around.

"Yes, trust me. She won't get better if we let a healer keep her full of medications and potions. Last night it was like she was here again, if only for a little while." Draco was sitting next to me. I could feel him shifting his weight while he talked.

"How did we not notice how bad things had gotten for her?" Ron sounded so guilty and I began to feel bad for him. _They don't care. You don't have to care about someone to feel guilty that they are so weak. _The voice seemed to always be changing. Now it was just insulting me. I guess it was just trying to do the most damage. I could feel the burn again as it spread down my sides. And instinctively I cried out in pain, my eyes flying open. I curled into a ball wrapping my arms around my sides and I could feel the blood between my fingers. If it was a curse as Draco had suggested, it was speeding up, and I didn't have much time left.

"Ginny?" Draco pulled the blankets off of me and I could hear collective gasps around the room. There were defiantly more people in the room than just Ron, Hermione, and Draco. I realized with relief that Draco had also thought to put a pair of sweatpants on me while I slept. "Move your hands Ginny, please." He begged placing a hand over mine. The burn was so strong and so painful; I couldn't have even if I wanted to. It was then it dawned on me that I was screaming. Another pair of arms was suddenly helping Draco uncurl me and hold me down. And yet another pair of hands held my held my legs down. When I looked up I realized that Harry was holding my arms down and Blaise was holding my legs. Hermione looked terrified as she clung to Ron and both Pansy and Azlyn were crying silently while leaning against the wall.

"Maybe we should put her back to sleep or something" Hermione whispered "She's in so much pain and she might hurt herself."

"No, I just need a minute to stop the bleeding and wrap the bandages, which means I'm going to need to sit her up." He directed and I wanted to thank him but I couldn't stop the screaming. _Give in to the fire girl. Soon you won't be able to fight. Why make this harder on yourself than it has to be. _

Between the three guys, they managed to get me into a sitting position. Draco lifted my shirt up until it was just below my chest and waved his wand to slow the bleeding. Pansy walked over to the bed with Azlyn and together, they managed to help Draco wrap the bandages around me. Once they were done Draco turned to look me in the eyes.

"You're not crazy. You are not weak. You can fight this. Find your voice. Talk to us." He whispered holding my face in his hands. And suddenly the room was quiet.

"Take the charms away." My voice was hoarse and my throat burned like the rest of me. "And let go of me please." All of the hands released me while Draco waived his wand. And for the second time that morning I heard a collective gasp.

"Curse of Blue" Hermione looked almost fascinated as she stepped closer to me. "That is some serious dark magic. You have to be very patient and smart to place this on someone."

"I guess that means that you know what this is then. How do I stop it and how did I get it?" I leaned up against the pillows feeling gross again. I could feel the blood in my clothes and skin.

"I can't remember how to stop it. I just remember seeing it in a book in the library when I was a fifth year or maybe a fourth year. I don't even remember the name of the book." She frowned looking worried. "But I know what causes it."

"Well what did this to my sister?" Ron demanded when Hermione didn't continue.

"I need you to tell them what happened this summer, Gin. And what happened during the final battle. The truth. It's important." She placed her hand over mine squeezing it gently.

"You're the only one that knows the truth Hermione for a reason. What happened between me and Bickman could send me to Azkaban." I took a deep breath. "And what happened this summer… no. It's none of their business."

"If they don't know the truth then they can't help you. And this summer is definitely his business." She pointed to Draco. "If you don't tell them, then I will. It's the only way to save your life."

"Fine, but not in this crowded bedroom while I'm covered in dry blood; I'm going to take a shower and then we can do this." It was going to be a really long day.

"Here, I went up to Gryffindor and grabbed all of your belongings. I figured you would probably just want to stay with Draco. We share a common room so that is where we can talk after you shower."

I climbed off the bed walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind me. It was time for me to face my demons and deal with the tragedy that my life had become.


	13. It Will Rain

**Ch 13 It Will Rain**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Harry Potter.**

After my shower, I walked into Draco's bedroom to find it empty but my trunk was sitting at the end of the bed. I walked over and rummaged through it looking for something to wear. I settled on a comfortable sweater dress that was warm and didn't rub against the symbols. I need I was still running a fever but it was the best I had felt in months. Slowly, I walked out of Draco's room to face my friends and fears of the truth.

They were all gathered on a large sofa and various chairs with Draco sitting alone on a smaller sofa. As soon as they noticed me, whatever conversation they were having disappeared. I made my way over to them and sat down beside Draco who immediately moved slightly closer to me.

"As all of you probably have already figured out. I did something pretty terrible during the final battle. The story I've told everyone. Everyone except Hermione who was the one who found Bickman's body, assumes that I had no choice that he was attacking me and I killed him because I had to. But that is a lie." My head was starting to ache but I had only just begun talking. I brushed it off and took a deep breath trying to keep the burn from spreading again.

"What could have possibly have happened that would make you want to lie to us about it? Did he…?" Ron tried but failed to complete his sentence. He looked slightly greenish like he was going to be sick and I realized what he was thinking.

"No absolutely not. If he had tried that then I would have no reason for lying about his death. He didn't even attack me. Just taunted and threatened. I don't think he ever actually pointed his wand at me. It's hard to remember sometimes." I sighed.

"What are you saying happened exactly?" Azlyn questioned.

"I killed him. He wanted me to capture him and turn him over to the ministry."

"Then why kill him if he wasn't a threat to you at the time. Why put that on your conscience? Were you getting revenge for Carter and Merci?" Blaise suggested. It sounded to me though that he found revenge completely appropriate.

"No, that's not it. He made me believe that he had evidence that would make the ministry believe he had been cursed by someone else and forced to do all of those things. I snapped…I couldn't let him do it. Looking back, he probably didn't have any evidence." My head was now throbbing and I could feel the burn setting in. I leaned foreward with my elbows on my knees and held my head in my hands. "Damn it" I whispered more to myself to anyone else.

"Perhaps we should get you some food. When was the last time you ate Ginny?" I could feel Draco's hand on my back while he spoke.

"I don't know. But I'm fine. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can go lay down." I closed my eyes for a moment before sitting back up and facing everyone again.

"So you killed him so there was absolutely no chance he would walk free?" Pansy picked the conversation back up.

"I killed him so he couldn't send someone whom I believed to be innocent to Azkaban." I answered.

"Who on earth would be so important that you would kill to keep them out of Azkaban rather than kill the bastard because he killed your friend and your baby?" It appeared Ron was also completely fine with the revenge angle.

I looked down at the ground for a moment then turned to Draco and looked him in the eyes. He understood and frowned.

"You would rather live knowing that you killed an unarmed bastard rather than take the chance he might be able to convince the ministry it was all my fault." Draco explained it better than I could have myself.

"You know one day you two will realize that you are soul mates." Azlyn smiled. I looked up at her and noticed that she was sitting closer to Harry than I expected. Their legs were touching but neither flinched nor moved away from each other.

"My damaged soul doesn't deserve a mate."

"Every soul has a mate. It doesn't matter if it's damaged or not. It doesn't matter if it's the person you thought it would be or not. You two have souls that are meant for each other." It wasn't lost on me that she shared a look and smile with Harry. I must have missed so much going on around me while my mind was burning.

"I guess we are now all caught up on what happened with you and Bickman during the battle." Pansy brought us back on task again. "But I'm not sure how this relates to the curse. Or what happened this summer."

"The curse that I believe Ginny has is trigger after an enormous amount of emotional turmoil. Things like extreme guilt followed by extreme loss. It is a hard curse to place. And even harder to set in motion because not only do you have to be extremely evil but also patient or really good and completely destroying someone mentally. I'm putting my bet on Bickman placing the curse before baiting Ginny to kill him and also destroying her faith in Draco to give her extreme heartbreak and guilt all in one shot." Hermione explained.

"But you told us twenty minutes ago that this curse is fast. If it had been set in motion by the battle, Ginny would have been dead before returning to school." Ron looked around confused.

"Well I guess that brings us to what happened this summer." I leaned back on the sofa, getting as comfortable as I possibly could before continuing. "Yes thinking that Draco had been lying to me for nearly two years hurt. And it hurt badly. But it didn't destroy me like Bickman thought it would."

"Something else happened? Does this have something to do with the trips you and Hermione made to London?" Harry asked. "I remember how sad you both looked the last two times you went. Both of those trips were right before school started."

"I remember that. You two went once earlier in the summer and you came back almost happy. It was the happiest you had looked since the end of the battle." Ron added.

I could feel Draco stiffen next to me as his brain made the connections to why I would be taking trips into London. Across the room I watched my Slytherin friends make the same connection all with looks of shock and grief on their faces.

"Oh Ginny" Azlyn whispered and a tear fell down her face. Harry looked at her with a confused expression but brushed away her tear with his thumb.

Pansy curled into Blaise whose jaw looked rigid like he was grinding his teeth in anger. Anger at the life that had befallen me in the few years prior.

And at last I turned to look at Draco. The look of pain on his face cause the ache to return but this time I didn't have the strength to let it hurt and the burn quickly overtook me. I could feel the heat spreading but I forced myself to stay together if only for a little longer.

"You were pregnant" It was a whisper and I could see the tears forming in his eyes as they stared at me.

"Yes. The first trip into London was me seeing a doctor to confirm it. But a couple weeks before the start of term I started feeling off. So Hermione took me back again only to discover the baby had no heartbeat. I had miscarried. A week later Hermione and I traveled to St. Mungo's to see a healer and find out what had caused it. The trip ended in me finding out that I was damaged from Merci being killed while still in my womb. The healer told me that I would probably never be able to carry a baby to term or even long enough to be viable." I spoke quicker than I had intended but I explained completely before the burn won and my body began to shake. I reached out grabbing Draco's hand and he realized what I was trying to tell him.

"Now that we know what it is and why. We need to find out how to stop it. I'm going to stay with Ginny. She can't be left alone. If anyone asks she is staying in Hermione's room." Draco lifted me and carried back into his room. The last thing I remember before falling back into unconsciousness is my friends talking about the library and running out of time.

It was well after dark when I woke again and I took notice of the fact that Draco was not in bed with me. Instead he was asleep in a chair across the room with a book open on his lap. I stood on shaky legs and walked over to him so I could see the book. It was about ancient curses. He must have had the others bring a stack for him to go through while he was watching over me.

"Draco?" I tapped him on the shoulder and he woke immediately.

"Ginny? What's wrong? " He stood up and dropped the book surveying me for damage.

"You looked uncomfortable. I just thought you might want to shower and put on some pajamas, perhaps sleep in the bed." I looked down at my toes. I couldn't believe how awkward I felt now. How had we managed to go from a year ago to now?

"Oh, I probably should get some sleep tonight. I have class tomorrow." He replied, picking up the book from the floor and added it to a stack on his dresser.

"Don't you mean we have class tomorrow?"

"No, I do, Hermione is supposed to be keeping you up with your studies. She told McGonagall just enough to keep you from having to go to class for a few more days. All the students think you had a breakdown after coming back to school. Which after how you've been acting, no one is questioning. Will you be alright while I go shower?" He look hesitant to leave me alone.

"I'll be right here. I promise." I sat down on the edge of the bed and felt a small smile playing on my lips. It was an odd feeling after so long.

"Right there in that exact spot." He smirked and I felt the ache in my chest battling with the burn. But tonight I would fight. I reached a hand up and placed it on his face.

"If this is where you want me." I whispered and his face moved slightly closer to mine.

"Darling, I will always want you in my bed." The ache was overwhelming but letting myself feel it kept me grounded.

"Oh, so perhaps, I should be in this exact spot with less clothing when you get back." All it would take was one of us to move just a little and our lips would be meeting. But he stepped away and I felt rejected, letting the burn take control again. _Of course he doesn't want you anymore. He is just playing you. Because it's easy when you are as pathetic and weak as you are._

"Ginny?" He had said something but I didn't hear it and he noticed. "Maybe I'll just shower when you go back to bed."

"No it's fine. Go shower. What did you say though?" I put on a brave face regardless of the fact that I knew he didn't buy it at all.

"I said. I can't do this, not right now. I love you and I hope you actually believe that. But I want you. Not what this curse has done to you. It would be a terrible evil for me to take advantage of this just because I want you." He ran a hand through his hair while he spoke and I understood his reason. But it was too late for me to come back from the burn. I had let it win again.

He turned and walked into the bathroom with saying another word and I sat in the same spot for a few minutes until I heard the water turning on. I slid off the edge of the bed and opened my trunk. _He thinks you are hideous like this. I guess no matter what isn't a condition of his love. _Hot tears welled up in my eyes. Was it true; was I now so hideous that Draco didn't want me? I rummaged through the trunk until I found a night gown I had never gotten to wear. Azlyn had given it to me with a smile on her face.

"For when the war is over and you and Draco have your perfect night." She winked shoving the box at me.

The burn gave me strength and for the first time I embraced it. I shed my clothing and put on the nightgown after pulling all the bandages off. I looked at my reflection in the mirror over Draco's dresser and noticed that the symbols were glowing as were my eyes. Somewhere in my head I felt like this was wrong and dangerous but the burn squashed that part of me and my doubts faded away. I sat back down on the bed where I had been and waited. When the water stopped I turned ready for the moment he walked into the room.

"That was a quick shower" Suddenly I was brave. I stood walking over to him and studied his face. It was a mixer of shock and confusion. And somewhere in his eyes he looked sad. But I ignored it. I felt on fire but tonight it felt good and I was getting what I wanted. "Do you like it?" I whispered placing a hand on his bare chest.

"Ginny what are you doing?" He placed a hand on mine. "You need to rest."

"I'm feeling fine. Actually this is the best I have felt all year." Somewhere in my chest the ache began to fight. And for a moment I faltered. What was I doing? No this is what I wanted. "Please Draco"

"No" He pushed me back and I landed on the bed. "The curse is controlling you Ginny. Fight back." I felt like the air was being sucked from my lungs. He was right. But I couldn't fight back. I didn't want to anymore. "Find yourself Ginny"

"No, I am me as I should be. Now do you want me or not?" I stood again and walked up to him.

"Damn it Ginny! Don't be weak. Fight back. All this sacrifice all the pain. If you give in and let this thing kill you then it was for nothing. You will have fought and lived for nothing. You might as well have died the night Merci did if you were going to go out like this." There it was, the ache the fight for my Merci and for the baby that didn't get to live long enough to get a name. The love of a mother kept me fighting. And Draco knew it.

"I can't. I want to but …" I stumbled and he caught me in his arms.

"But nothing; you can survive this. You survived rape. You survived pregnancy. You survived the death of friends. You survived the death of your baby before she ever got to live. You survive the realization that you may not ever get to be pregnant again. Bickman was weak and pathetic. He deserved the death he got at your hand. But he does not deserve to get to kill you. Even in death he is still trying and he will fail. Do not give him the satisfaction of taking you down with him." He was whispering again and the ache was winning but not before the burn spread. I cried out in pain as the fire spread down my legs.

Draco picked me up and placed me on the bed grabbing his wand and box of bandages. Still wrapped in just a towel, he slowed the bleeding and wrapped the bandages over the new symbols.

"Draco"

He looked up at me as he finished and took a seat next to me on the bed.

"Yes Ginny?"

"I don't want to die."

"I know" He walked around the bed, only stopping to put on a pair of boxer before climbing in next to me. He wrapped and arm around me and I placed my head down on his chest letting myself cry.

"Please, don't let me die."

"Never, love. I would never let you die."

"Promise?" It was silent for a few moments and I realized he was terrified to make a promise he wasn't sure he could keep. I took a deep breath and decided maybe it was time to let the ache in. I had nothing left to lose.

"I promise that I will be right here next to you fighting for you until my heart stops beating." It was good enough for me. And soon enough we both fell into sleep.


	14. We Found Love

**Ch.14 We Found Love**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**a/n : I love my reviewers. Know that you all are enjoying my work makes me so happy.**

I spent the next week in bed catching up on school work as my body slowly gave way to the curse. Everyone around me talked in such somber tones and never spoke about life beyond the following day. I could feel their resolve wavering as they continued to fail at finding a way to rid me of the curse. On Saturday morning we all gathered in Hermione and Draco's common room once more. I laid on the sofa with while Draco sat with my feet in his lap and a blanket covering me.

"Are you caught up with school Gin?" Azlyn asked before anyone could bring up anything more serious, like my impending death.

"I'll pass my Newts" I resisted the urge to add the fact that I might not even live long enough to take them. But I didn't need to. Everyone knew it already and I could tell just by looking around the room. Then I realized someone was missing."Where is Hermione?"

"She should be here any minute." Ron looked at the doorway looking anxious.

"What is going on?" He was hiding something. And it seemed as if I was the only one who didn't know what it was. "Somebody tell me now" I demanded throwing the blanket off of me and standing up. I regretted it almost instantly as my legs gave out and I topple foreword. It was Harry who caught me before I hit the floor and placed me back on the sofa.

"She thinks that she may have found something. But no one wants to give you false hope if she is wrong." Harry explain sitting Down again next to Azlyn.

"I wish you all would quit treating me like I'm going to drop dead any moment. " I was aggravated at all of them.

No on had any time to respond though because Hermione came running into the room with a large book in her hand.

"I've been reading all night but I am almost positive that I found the counter curse." She panted dropping into a chair next to Ron.

"Almost positive?" Draco looked unsure. "What does almost positive mean?"

"It means that I don't speak the language this is in so I've been consulting a translation dictionary. If my translation is right then this is the counter curse." She opened the book to a page that she had placed something in to mark it. "I can save Ginny but this isn't going to be pain free"

"I'll do whatever it takes." I slowly sat up. "What will it take?"

"Once again, I'm running on translation here but I believe it will just be extremely painful."

"Just extremely painful? No, there is no way we are doing this." Draco stood up, his face filled with rage.

"It's not your decision Draco." I pulled myself up to stand on shaky legs. "This is the last chance we may have. I'm dying, I know that I don't have much time left. We are doing this and I am the only one who gets a say about it." I sat back down taking deep breaths. I was exhausted already.

"Okay well we should probably move this little gathering into Draco's room and then we will get started." She shut the book and stood turning to lead us all into Draco's room.

Draco looked unhappy as he lifted me into his arms and followed the group. Sat or stood around me while Hermione opened the book again and took her seat at the bottom of the bed.

"You ready Gin?" She asked biting her lip nervously.

"Doesn't matter if I'm ready in a life or death situation; let's do this." I replied laying down on the pillows and closing my eyes.

The room was silent for a moment before Hermione began speaking in a language I didn't recognize. For a few minutes I truly believed it wasn't working and then the fire started to burn. I briefly wondered who was screaming until it dawned on me that it was me. It was the worst I have ever felt it and I thought I was dying. Somewhere around me I could hear the panic of my friends. But it was off and unfocused. I had no idea what they were saying. The fire was overwhelming and suddenly there was nothing. No one, no pain, no light.

_I was sitting on the sofa in Draco's room staring at the fire. He sat silently next to me. Neither of us had said a word since I had come to his room after dinner. I had told Carter I needed to return a book to someone and I would be back in the common room later. It unsettled me how well I could lie these days._

"_Ginny?" He shifted, turning to look at me. I turned towards him with a blank expression and waited for him to continue. "Are you okay?"_

"_No, I don't know how I will ever be okay with what happened. I don't know how I will ever be okay with what is happening now. I don't know if I'll ever be okay again." The hot tears poured down my face. I was so damn sick of crying._

"_One day, you will be. I know you don't believe me and it doesn't seem like it but it will be okay." He wrapped an arm around me and I leaned into his chest and cried._

"_You're such a good friend to me Draco."_

_I slid down the wall in Draco's bathroom twirling the razor in my hands. I hadn't realized how hard it would be to give this up. I wanted to be better for Draco, but tonight my strength and resolve were shaking. I was so focused on my thoughts that I didn't hear the pounding on the door at first._

"_Ginny! Ginny, please come out. Logan told me what happened today. I know what you're doing or are going to do. Either way, please stop or don't. I am here. I am right here, just let me help you."_

_I wanted to let him in so badly but I couldn't make myself get up off the floor. It was as if I had lost all control. I had been doing okay until I ran into Bickman earlier in the day. And he was mean and nasty and made a comment about me looking fatter. It was like he knew. And it was terrifying. I hadn't even realized I had moved the blade towards my arm until a warm hand grabbed mine stopping it just before it touched my skin._

"_You have to hurt Ginny. If you never let yourself feel, then you will never heal." He slid down the wall next to me dropping his wand on the floor. He pulled the blade out of my hand and tossed it into the trash bin._

"_It hurts too much to feel. It's just all too much." Crying again. It felt as if this was my reaction to everything these days. I had a happy day and cried. I had a sad day and cried. I had an okay day and still ended up in tears._

"_You are stronger than this crap. Be strong for Merci. She needs you." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back against his chest. Both of his hands rested gently on my baby bump and she kicked happily in response. "And on the days you can't, I'll be here. I'll be the strength for both of you."_

_My sweatpants were loose, too loose. It wasn't like they weren't mine. I had worn the same sweatpants not long before I got pregnant. But they were too loose that day. They were the constant reminder that she was gone. Before I had lived with the comfort of knowing she would have been well taken care of. She would have been happy and alive. My breath hitched as soon as I began to think of her and I sank into the bed again staring at Draco as he packed all of my things back into the bag._

_I was going home today. Home felt like such a strange word to me. She would never get to go home. Damn. I was thinking about it again. He zipped the bag and sat in on the floor by my bed. _

"_Ginny? It's time to go. Are you ready?" His voice was soft and barely above a whisper. He held a hand out to me but I just stared at him. "You can't just stay here forever love. It won't…"_

"_Bring her back." I finished for him. My voice was hoarse and tired. I'd spent the first day yelling at everyone one and everything. As if that would somehow make them be able to fix this. And the second day I sobbed. But now on the third day I was tired of feeling. Tired of hoping and pretending that somehow magic or otherwise she would just be alive again. _

_I stepped onto the floor and Draco wrapped his arms around me. He had not left my side at all. The farthest he had gone was to the bathroom in my room to shower or otherwise. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back._

"_Just breathe, I love you and together we can learn to breathe again."_

"_I love you too."_

_I sat in the snow on a blanket. I couldn't believe my own brother had just abandoned us like that. I heard footsteps behind me and knew immediately that Draco was there. He sat next to me and I leaned back against his chest._

"_I can't believe he just abandoned us." I whispered staring out into the forest around us._

"_You mean, you can't believe he abandoned you." Draco was right as always._

"_I guess. I've been through so much more than him and he just up and leaves because he can't handle it. What the fuck is with that?" I was angry now at my stupid brother. But I would give anything for him to just come walking back up to us now._

"_Don't blame his so much, love. He is accustomed to having a plan. Hermione usually had things all figured out. He had a path. These last months have been really hard for him. He hurt very badly over what happened with Merci. He hurts badly each day seeing you in pain. He just doesn't know how to handle it."_

"_How do you know?" I questioned turning to look at him._

"_Because, I know what it's like to watch someone you love hurt so badly and nothing you say or do will ever be enough to heal that hurt." He spoke in a sad tone and I realized that what he was saying made sense._

"_Will you always be able to tell me exactly what I need to hear?"_

"_Probably not, but I will always try."_

_The waves crashed unto the shore just enough for my feet to stay nice and wet as the sunk into the sand. Draco held my hand as we watched the sun rise after our first night at shell cottage._

"_Hermione seems to be doing reasonably well for someone who was tortured less than twenty four hours ago." I frowned. It seemed as if each time we were in a beautiful place, there was something bad going on._

"_Hermione is probably one of the strongest people I have ever met. Nothing ever seems to bother her; besides your brother seems to be making sure that she is doing just fine." _

"_That's true." I thought briefly about how much fun it would be to play in the waves with Draco. But playing and fun seemed so foreign now. Even if the war ended soon, there were no guarantees that both him and I would make it out alive._

"_What are you thinking about? You look so sad." _

"_I was just thinking how we may never get to stand on a beach and watch the sun rise or set together."_

"_We are watching it rise together right now."_

"_That's not what I meant. I mean happily. Normal couples on a beach are smiling and playing in the waves but not us. We are worrying and waiting on a war that we might not live through."_

"_If we make it, I'll take you to the beach and we can laugh and play in the waves. We'll even build a sandcastle." He smiled and for the first time I felt some hope for the future._

_My small bed had never before felt so empty and cold. My pillows were stained with tears and I felt my chest ache in pain. I heard my door open and shut before Ron came to sit on the bed next to me._

"_A package came for you from Azlyn." He placed the little box on the bedside table and I sat up to look at him. "Please come down for dinner Ginny. I really want you to be there when…" He looked out the window avoiding my gaze as he realized he had let something slip._

"_When what Ron?" I wiped my tears away._

"_Promise you won't say anything?" He smiled then immediately looked guilty for being happy._

"_I promise. And don't feel guilty. Draco and I broke up. I'll get over it. I've been through worse. I'll be like myself again by the end of next week. I'm doing better than Harry is. Or Azlyn probably." At least Draco was still alive. I had chosen to be apart from him. Harry and Azlyn had not made that choice and yet they would never see Regan or Logan again._

"_I'm proposing to Hermione tonight. I know it's soon and the funerals are all this weekend but we survived. And we are together and I can't think of a better time to just embrace that. Also, I'm afraid soon she will put her head on straight and realize she can do so much better than me." He rambled and I felt and unfamiliar smile come back to lips._

"_Ron, Hermione has been in love with you for years. You were the only one to slow to see it."_

_I had no tears. I had no words. Hermione kept giving me these sad glances out of the corner of her eyes as I stared at the seat in front of me on the train._

"_Ginny?" She was uncertain. Afraid that at any moment I would break and everything would just come crashing down. _

"_You would think by now, I would know how to deal with this. But I don't." My voice was flat. I was already long gone. I had already decided not to let myself feel the hurt._

"_Ginny, I'm so sorry. If you want I can make an appointment for you to see a healer next week. Maybe they will know if this is connected to what happened with Merci." _

"_That's fine." I looked out the window at the country side as the train moved along. It was always beautiful outside when terrible things happened to me. _

"_Ms. Weasley, I have some bad news." The office of the healer whose name I could not remember even though I had just met him an hour before. He was looking at a file on his desk with a frown on his face. How much worse could things really get? "After looking at your medical history and the results of your exam today, I'm confident telling you that the chances of you ever having a successful pregnancy are very slim. When you lost your daughter last year, there appears to have been some damage done. I'm so sorry."_

"_Can we go, then?" So things could get worse then._

"_Ginny, did you hear him? Do you need a minute or have questions?" Hermione looked shocked at my lack of a reaction._

"_Yes I heard him and no I do not have any questions. Can we please go home now?" I stood and waited for the healer to speak again._

"_Yes Ms. Weasley, You are free to go." He stood as well and shook my hand before Hermione and I walked out of his office. _

"Draco I don't know." Hermione sounded frightened.

But I felt odd, and it was like I had just woken from a deep sleep. My eyes were closed still so I took a minute to listen to what was going on around me.

"She's been barely breathing for an hour. And I swear her heart is slowing down. Maybe it's time to go get a professor and get some help." Azlyn's voice sounded like she was crying and I figured it was a good time to open my eyes.

"She's awake." Blaise was looking at me as I opened my eyes and looked around. He looked extremely relieved and so did everyone else as they all moved in closer.

I sat up slowly and looked around in confusion.

"Did it work?" I sounded alive.

"Look for yourself." Azlyn handed me a hand mirror and wiped her tears away.

I looked at my reflection and gasped. Had it really been so long since I had seen my own face that I was shocked to see it again.

"Welcome back love" Draco sat next to me wrapping an arm around my waist.

"I'm alive."


	15. Your Star Is So Bright

**Ch.15 You're Star Is So Bright**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**A/n: So here it it. The very last chapter. I know I usually update much earlier during the day but I've been distracted and up until a couple days ago was afraid I wouldn't have a computer to upload from since I keep all my stories on a flash drive. And have been having terrible luck with computers.**

**I am so very deeply grateful for every single person who has taken the time to read this story. I am also grateful for everyone who has taken the time to review. I am already hard at work on the first few chapters of the sequel. **

I returned to class a week before exams. The official story we were telling everyone was that I had managed to catch a horrible flu after suffering a nervous breakdown; which was kind of what it felt like. That story resulted in most of the student body either avoiding me all together of walking on egg shells around me. It didn't bother me though. I spent most of my time studying and just enjoying feeling alive and free again. Finally my life was falling together. I had once loose end I needed to take care of so the night before the test I walked the halls until I found Carter.

"You look so much better Ginny." He smiled floating around me to make sure I was completely normal again. "The rumors say you are back in class. But most people still think you have completely lost it and are actually taking bets on whether or not you fail your exams."

"I'm not going to fail. I'm actually over prepared I think. It will be strange leaving on Monday though. This has been home for so long. And I've only been back for such a little amount of time."

"Unlike me, darling, you have a life to live. Go out and live it. What are you doing after school anyway?" He stopped spinning and was now acting like he was leaning against the wall. I guessed he had been adjusting to the ghost thing for awhile and seemed to be getting the hang of things rather well.

"More school, I'm going to be a healer."

"That doesn't tell me much. Are you going to heal hearts, heads, children, etc?" He rolled his eyes and I felt guilty for talking to him about my future. I felt guilt about telling him my plans. I felt guilty for being alive.

"I'm going to deliver babies. So I'm not really sure what I'm healing there." I smiled, swallowing my guilt and trying to accept that I couldn't change what was.

"I believe that means you will be healing empty homes." He laughed then stopped abruptly. "I'm sorry, Ginny, I didn't mean"

"I'm learning to accept things Carter. I'm learning to feel the pain and heal. So please don't worry about it. Two moments ago, I was feeling guilty about talking about having a life when you don't.

"I have a life, sort of. My soul is here at Hogwarts. I wish I could move on and be with my sister but I can't and I'll just have to make the most of it." He returned to spinning around me. "You should go find yourself a nice warm bed to sleep in. It's getting late and you have to pass your NEWTS tomorrow. Besides, I believe someone has coming looking for you."

I heard footsteps behind me and turned around to face Draco who looked out of breathe and almost frantic.

"I've looked all over the damn castle for you Ginny. You could have at least told me you were coming to find Carter." He leaned against the wall panting and trying to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were studying in the library with Blaise. I actually thought I would make it back to your room before you got there." Today had been one of the first days Draco had left me alone for more than twenty minutes. I should have realized that he wasn't going to study for very long before he would want to check on me. I turned back to Carter and said a brief good bye. He wished me good luck and disappeared before I turned back to face Draco once again.

"Tomorrow is going to be a long day." He reached out and intertwined his fingers with mine as we began to make our way back towards his room. "Are you sure you are ready for your exams?"

"I'm positive. If anything I am overly prepared. Are you prepared?" I yawned. I hadn't realized how tired I was until then. It shouldn't have been surprising to me though. I had tired easily ever since I had been brought back from almost dying. It was a small price to pay for being alive and I figured that, in time, I would regain my energy and strength.

"I'm prepared love. I'll do just fine." We had reached our room by this point and we were each beginning to get ready for bed.

"You know, I don't even know what you are going to do after school." I remarked curling myself around him and closing my eyes.

"I'm going to Healer's school in January. I'm going to be a children's healer. I have no clue what you're doing either." He yawned.

"Healer's school as well; I'm going to deliver babies."

I never heard his reply because almost instantly after I spoke I was asleep.

The test was long and boring but I was prepared. Because only some students were taking NEWTS while others were in classes taking their finals, we tested by house. Gryffindor tested immediately before Slytherin so I never spoke to Draco after my test was finished. I made my way down to our room to begin packing so I wouldn't be rushing to do it over the weekend. As I was organizing my trunk I came across the box of letters that Draco had sent me over the summer. I hadn't opened any of them but I figured I might as well. I pulled the stack out and sat down on the bed going through them one by one.

_April 30_

_Dearest Ginny,_

_I know you need some time. Or perhaps you'll need forever. But I miss you. Every moment of everyday seems longer and lonelier without you. I know I should have told you long ago the truth about what happened to you. I just could never quite find the right moment. Yes, I knew that Voldemort wanted someone to come after you but I didn't know who. I followed you every day as much as I could. I failed quizzes and fell behind in classes. I lost sleep and felt sick most of the time. But it didn't matter. I had sworn to myself that I would stop it from happening but I failed. _

_On the night it happened, I followed you until you were in your dorm. I foolishly assumed that you were safe and sound so I returned to my room. I was trying to catch up on some of my schoolwork when Pansy came to pay me a visit. She told me that she had seen you in the Halls and also mentioned seeing Bickman as well. I left my room at once and ran to where she had mentioned seeing you._

_At first when I arrived, I assumed I had made it in time. That was until I saw you up close. I will never forgive myself for not being faster. Maybe I should have tried to warn you regardless of what you thought of me back then. There will never be enough words to apologize for my negligence and I do not expect you to ever forgive me. _

_I love you Ginny._

_Draco_

_May 12_

_Dearest Ginny_

_You have either decided to not write me back or you are not even reading my letters. I understand. You have every right to hate me now. _

_I saw you at Logan's funeral and you looked well. I'm happy that you are at peace even if I cannot be at peace with you. I know I said that I said that I don't expect you to forgive me and I don't. I just, I miss you so much. _

_I can't get you out of my head. I see your face everywhere and it hurts. I never knew what it was like to love until you came into my life. And now I'm learning exactly what heartbreak feels like. I'm such an idiot for losing you. _

_I wish you would write me._

_I love you._

_Draco_

_June 6_

_Ginny, I know today is probably hard for you. It's hard for me. It is much harder than I thought it could be. _

_Azlyn, Pansy, and Blaise all came to wish me a Happy Birthday. But it was somber. I wasn't feeling very happy. Maybe one day, in the future, my birthday won't just be a reminder of all the things I have lost. You and Merci and Logan, all gone from my life. It's like part of me has gotten lost somewhere and I just can't get it back._

_We all went to her grave early this morning. We didn't want to chance running into you there. It wouldn't be fair to you. I cried and I'm sure everyone else did as well. I know it is a strange thought but I realized that the only times I have ever cried have all involved you. Odd isn't it?_

_I would give anything to be holding you as you cried today. Anything._

_I love you._

_Please write._

_Draco_

_July 12_

_Gin_

_I know you're pissed. I get it. But just write me. If it wasn't for other people telling me, I would think you were dead. I know I have no right to be aggravated with you. I just, I miss you._

_Write me._

_I love you _

_Draco_

_August 8_

_Gin_

_Okay, I won't write anymore. Maybe if I'm lucky you'll talk to me once we are back to school. Or you'll pretend I don't exist. At least I'll get to see your face again. _

_I'm such a fucking idiot._

_I love you._

_Draco_

I could feel the tears pouring down my face as I put the last letter back in the box. My heart ached over how much he must have been hurting too. But I let myself feel it. I had to. I curled up in bed, packing long forgotten and fell into a fitful sleep with tears still running down my face.

"Love?" Draco's voice pulled me from my sleep and I sat up feeling more tired than I had been when I fell asleep. I could feel the dried tears on my face as I looked up into his concerned face.

"I'm fine, I promise." I smiled weakly at him but it did no good. He climbed onto the bed kicking his shoes off and pulled me into his arms.

"What happened? Are you…?" He started panicking. But I put a hand up to stop him and pulled away.

"I'm completely okay. I just read all your letters from the summer and they made me a little emotional. That is all. I'm fine. How do you think you did on your NEWTS?"

"I feel good about them. You?"

"I think I did well. I can't believe that we are completely done with school."

"I can't believe it either. This weekend is the last Hogsmeade weekend we will have in school."

"That's right. I haven't been outside at all since I've gotten well. I'm excited to be going."

"Are you sure? It's cold and snowy outside. You might catch a cold or something." He looked genuinely concerned as I rolled my eyes laughing at him.

"Yes because catching a cold would be the worst thing that has ever happened to me right?" I laughed smacking him in the face with a pillow.

A pillow fight immediately followed and we spent the rest of the day in his room laughing and enjoying each other's company.

When Saturday arrived we made the journey to Hogmeade with our friends laughing and enjoying the beautiful winter day. Draco however looked extremely nervous. I assumed he was just afraid I would somehow just drop dead from being outside so I just ignored it completely. Soon our friends all went in different directions to do their Christmas shopping and we did the same. After about an hour we ran into Azlyn who was walking aimlessly through the same store as us which seemed a bit odd but I brushed it off.

"Hey Ginny, maybe you can help me find a Christmas present for someone." She grabbed my hand and started pulling me away from Draco. "And that will give Draco some time to get a present for you or something. Come on."

I didn't even get to say anything to Draco before she pulled me out of the store and into another one.

"So who are you trying to find a present for?" I questioned and began thinking about how strange this whole trip was.

"Um Harry." She looked slightly nervous. "We have been hanging out quite a bit and neither one of us has made a move. It's like neither of us want to say anything because logically it is way too soon after Logan and Regan died. So I need a gift that says I like you as more than a friend but I don't want to be in your face about it. And if you don't feel the same way than that is okay."

"I've seen the way he looks at you. Trust me, he is interested. But I have no idea what you should give him. I'll help you look. It can't take that long can it?"

But it did. We wandered from store to store for almost two hours before Azlyn decided she was hungry and must have food right then so we abandoned the shopping and headed for the Three Broomsticks.

As soon as we walked in the door, the strangeness of the day began to fall together. My parents, brothers, brothers' wives, and friends were all gathered together around two tables. Azlyn broke away from me taking a seat next to Harry while I stood there still trying to piece together what was going on. That was until Draco stood and came towards me, stopping about a foot away.

"We came together at your darkest moment as if by fate. For a long time you spoke of me as if I had saved you. But in truth you saved me. You taught me the meaning of being strong. I've seen you at your worst. I saw you broken and put you back on your feet. I've see you at your best. I saw you selflessly decide what was best for your child when you were still a child yourself. I've see you at your weakest. I saw you lose that child and I held you as you cried. I've seen you at your strongest. I saw you fight in a war and come out alive and victorious. I've seen you angry. I've seen you happy. I am blessed to see you every morning when I wake and every night before I go to bed. I've almost lost you once to my mistake and once to your demons.

I know what heartbreak feels like because of you. I know the meaning of family because of you. I know what it means to worry about someone because of you. I know what it means to put someone before yourself because of you. And I know what love is because of you." He paused briefly kneeling down to one knee and pulling out a little box opening it to reveal a simple and elegant diamond ring.

"I bought this ring long ago. I bought it long before Merci died because I knew then the same thing I know now. It was fate that pulled us together and fate that has taught us just how strong we can be together. And I cannot fathom ever not having you standing by my side. Every dream of my future has you in it. I don't care if we can never have children. I don't care where we end up. I don't care about a damn thing except making absolutely sure that you are there. Ginerva Weasley, I cannot live without you. So will you please do me the greatest honor of my life and marry me?"

**~Fin~**


	16. Final Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

I am posting this to let everyone know that the sequel's first chapter is published. So please go to my profile and read **We'll Make It**. And as always I love reviews.

On that note; I am now forced to address a particular review that came to me unsigned, about how my story was I guess sending a terrible message about rape and how stupid it was that Ginny decided not to tell.

Even though I doubt that particular reviewer will ever get this far, it is completely realistic for Ginny to react in this way. We all know that money can get you out of anything in the wizarding world if there is little proof or even if there was. Ahem, Mr. Malfoy, ahem.

And Ginny reacted how a huge amount of rape victims do. Too afraid to speak up they don't say a word. Especially in the wizarding world where everyone readily carries around a weapon in their hands.

I didn't begin to allow anonymous reviews so people can get all judgmental and preachy on me. I did it so you don't have to sign up for an account if you want to review. In a constructive or positive way.

I love all my good and helpful feedback.

If you're going to be negative, please have the courage to sign in. So that we can discuss this in private rather than me having to address it like this.

Remie


	17. Author's Note

It's been so long since I began these stories. So much has happened. And my writing style has changed so much. I owe those who are still sticking it out an ending. I know this. But as it stands now, this story has hit a wall.

And honestly so have I, my writing has always been my therapy. It helps with the anxiety and depression. But lately, I've lost my voice. And I'd like to have a reason to come back to it again.

So, the choice belongs to you. Any single person who is still reading this series.

I can power through and try to give it the original ending I had planned years ago. Or I can start again and write a better story with the ending it actually deserves.

If no response comes, the story ends here. I'm sorry.

And thank you so much for making me feel like someone is reading my work.


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